What do I do?

[apples and bananas]

I'll be completely honest... if they were younger I'd hold out and try longer. Since they are already 3 and 4, they are just siblings that fight. They may always be like that, regardless of your rules I think it's going to be very hard to break that. So, if the sibling rivalry is what's not fitting in, I personally don't think you'll be able to get them out of that.

[Judy Trickett]

I'll be completely honest... if they were younger I'd hold out and try longer. Since they are already 3 and 4, they are just siblings that fight. They may always be like that, regardless of your rules I think it's going to be very hard to break that. So, if the sibling rivalry is what's not fitting in, I personally don't think you'll be able to get them out of that.

I agree. The older the kids are the longer they have had time to be taught by the parents and other caregivers that their behaviour is okay. Because if they were told their behaviour was NOT okay and held accountable then they would not be acting in that manner.

It goes back to the old adage that it is easier to teach someone right the first time then to unteach them the wrong way and re-teach them the right way.

My worry would be - what are the behavioural expecations of the parents? Obviously they allow their kids to act like monsters. And if they have that ideal of behaviour then you won't change the kids because their parents will not be supportive of it because they don't see it as a problem.