Time to discharge her from care?

[mickyc]

I guess we will agree to disagree for the most part bright sparks. I just find everyone on this site is so quick to say terminate. Kids are work and dealing with other's people's children can be exhausting when the rules are not the same at home. Kids learn to adjust but the provider must be consistent. I have the same rules for all my kids. Yes they are all individuals but I am not about to make exceptions for any particular child/family. The rules are the rules and they are for all no matter what. I always take the same approach with my daycare kids as I did with my step kids growing up. I couldn't control what went on in their mom's home but I certainly can control what goes on here. The rules were polar opposite but after a few days the kids adjusted back into what was expected of them here. When it comes to daycare we have to give the kids a chance to adjust, hopefully get the parents on board (some situations I don't even bother with because you know it will land on deaf ears) and deal with the situation. If the provider gives it a fair shot and then doesn't see improvement and feels the need to terminate then so be it but you can just terminate just because it is difficult. Just my 2 cents.

[bright sparks]

I guess we will agree to disagree for the most part bright sparks. I just find everyone on this site is so quick to say terminate. Kids are work and dealing with other's people's children can be exhausting when the rules are not the same at home. Kids learn to adjust but the provider must be consistent. I have the same rules for all my kids. Yes they are all individuals but I am not about to make exceptions for any particular child/family. The rules are the rules and they are for all no matter what. I always take the same approach with my daycare kids as I did with my step kids growing up. I couldn't control what went on in their mom's home but I certainly can control what goes on here. The rules were polar opposite but after a few days the kids adjusted back into what was expected of them here. When it comes to daycare we have to give the kids a chance to adjust, hopefully get the parents on board (some situations I don't even bother with because you know it will land on deaf ears) and deal with the situation. If the provider gives it a fair shot and then doesn't see improvement and feels the need to terminate then so be it but you can just terminate just because it is difficult. Just my 2 cents.

I agree but it doesn't sound like this provider is just terminating because the child is difficult. Also I never said have a different set of rules but simply that each child is different and no matter how hard you persevere some children just will not work. At that point it is okay to terminate versus putting all the children through the stress of the tantrums ongoing if their is no sign of progress. I think on here it goes through phases of people wanting to terminate, but the people who generally post saying terminate are not the OP and the OP's are generally looking for support and advice on how to help the child NOT saying that they will just terminate because they have had enough. It's healthy and necessary to set boundaries. At some point you have to know when enough is enough and its best to know your boundaries prior to taking so much that you can't manage any more. It will be different for different people. Like those who have termed after just a few days of crying during transition because they couldn't handle it anymore. That's absolutely fine as they know their own limits whereas others can some how manage to put up with the screaming for weeks and sometimes months. I don't believe there is 1 single right way of doing something which means that 1 model of discipline for all children doesn't always work. If the provider isn't able to be adaptable to other methods, which doesn't in any way imply different rules or leniency for the child, then it is likely in the child's best interest for the provider to let them go to another provider who may have more luck with the child.