Quote Originally Posted by bright sparks View Post
I personally think diapers and pull ups are problematic in training. If a child is ready to train, they are also smart enough to know that they are wearing a diaper. I see the inconsistency as permission to pee in the diaper because they know they can. I agree no naked children at daycare, but underwear should be fine if the kid is pretty well toilet trained at home. There likely wouldn't be to many accidents. As for pooping on the carpet, this is another requirement on my list that tells me a child is ready to train. There needs to be regularity in bowel movements. Once they have this, it's easier to predict when they will go and be prepared. BM is usually a tricky stage of training for a lot of kids, but if they are regular it's easier, if they are not then likely they have not got the control over their bowels so shouldn't be training. I understand why they are wearing a diaper at your place and like many others it is policy, but I personally think that this is the problem. Doesn't mean that going naked is the answer though. It's just inconsistency does nothing to help with toilet training. I think this is a classic sign of a parent starting too early. This child clearly doesn't have all the verbal skills or the physical ability to be successful and quickly to train. It rarely takes me more than a week to train here. On the occasion it does, it's because of parents undoing my work at home by putting pull ups on, or being lazy quite frankly. I don't care of a parent insists on training before I'm willing to do it. I give them the other option of taking a month of work to train them themselves if they don't like how I do it. You have how much experience with this mother?... I've trained over 30 kids and every time I've had any kind of issue it's because of the parents yet I'm the one left to deal with the mess. It's this first child...rush, rush, rush and second child, baby, baby, baby thing I keep seeing over and over. Lots of first time parents want their child to be first at everything, but hold their second back for longer so they can keep their baby. SIGH!!

I had a parent of one of my 21mth olds email me for my thoughts the other day because her child was taking an interest in them using the toilet at home and it took all my restraint not to speak my mind. You want to toilet train yet you won't stop breast feeding him??? The mind boggles sometimes...Fortunat ely this family like that I offer them guidance and generally take my advice.


What are your requirements before you put them in underwear to train them? I completely understand how having them in diapers can make them think they can still pee in it etc. But, I've toilet trained about 15 children with the method of sitting them on the potty with each diaper change and in time they just start staying dry inbetween potty breaks and then quickly start communicating the need to go to the potty. It works in a relaxed manner when the child is ready (typically between 2-2.5yrs).

This child is very slow with language (though fully up to speed on all other milestones). She has yet to make any attempt to ask me to go and she has no ability to get her own clothes down to go on her own.

Until she can do one of those consistently it just seems that she isn't ready to be diaperless here with me.

I've asked mom (weeks ago and again yesterday) to work on the communication and the self help skills at home as my working with her on that 3 days a week isn't enough. Mom has decided just to leave the child naked and not work on the other skills...which to me, are essentially for being toilet trained.

While I agree having completely different expectations here and at home do not lead to successful toilet training...the child is not home 24/7 so toilet training needs to be done in a manner that is realistic (not just being naked for the next year until she decides to start communicating).

Bright Sparks how do you manage playing outside (in snowsuits) and outings to the library and playgroup etc? If the child doesn't communicate they need to go then do you just leave them in underwear for outings?

I just don't see a child being able to be truly potty trained if they can't communicate. Sure they can run off to the potty on their own while naked. But if they can't manage their clothing on their own and don't communicate then what do they do?

Anyways...if home starts to put the child in clothing and if the child is still successful then I am more than willing to try it here. But, until I see any attempt at communicating or being able to undress themself then the diapers need to stay on.