Feeling bad about a daycare letter.

[daycaremommv]

Well I did have a chat with her, and she explained that, her ratios are low, in part because my son needs more one on one care than the others do. Is she blaming me for something? I also found out that the other boy that is in her care (from his mother) has a casual spot, and only pays for days used.

When I asked her if I could have a spot like them she said no, that they are grandfathered in and she no longer does this type of child care. She asked me why I started making inquires with her other people, and seemed angry. Should she be? What are ratios?

[Rachael]

[QUOTE=daycaremommv;7 1929]

Is she blaming me for something?

How could we possibly know? If she is, what could it be? Is it possible that your son's needs weren't fully disclosed or understood? Or is it maybe that the switching days has left her feeling disrespected and she's just had enough of this relationship? You have to ask her those questions.

Having had all the feedback you did, I wonder if you apologized or even explained that you didn't fully appreciate how much you were taking advantage? Sometime a sorry goes a long way.

I also found out that the other boy that is in her care (from his mother) has a casual spot, and only pays for days used.

So what? That is her business agreement with this other client. Maybe she gave a discount for a reason you don't know. Maybe she's charged you a little more because she was expecting your child needed added care. Regardless, not your business, not your arrangement.

When I asked her if I could have a spot like them she said no, that they are grandfathered in and she no longer does this type of child care.

Okay - so you've had a perfectly reasonable explaination - more than you'd have got from me because my arrangement with my clients aren't any business of anyone else.

She asked me why I started making inquires with her other people, and seemed angry. Should she be? What are ratios?

If you've been sneaky and underhand, yes.

You have a great carer, she's been very professional, you've treated her horribly, you have nosed into matter than are not your concern, damn right she has every right to be cross. She's gone out of her way to accommodate you and you come here and moan about her behaviour.


I truly am considering that you aren't this naive - perhaps you are some teenager trolling. I think this provider should hand you your notice and wave you on your way.

[flowerchild]

Well I did have a chat with her, and she explained that, her ratios are low, in part because my son needs more one on one care than the others do. Is she blaming me for something?

I don't think she's blaming you for anything, but she is letting you know that she's keeping the number of children she cares for low and part of the reason for this is so that she can give your child the care he needs. I don't know what type of special needs your child has, but you should be thankful that your provider recognizes his needs and is essentially LIMITING HER OWN INCOME for his benefit.

When I asked her if I could have a spot like them she said no, that they are grandfathered in and she no longer does this type of child care. She asked me why I started making inquires with her other people, and seemed angry. Should she be?

I can see why she'd be upset. She's given you a letter outlining her policies about the situation and outlining different options. You, in turn, talk to her other clients to essentially check that she's telling you the truth. And then you still try to negotiate something other than she's offering. Not to mention you may have made her other client uncomfortable.

To be honest, I'd be really frustrated with you at this point. I'd feel like you don't appreciate the effort and care I've been giving your son and I'd feel like you don't trust me and that you don't respect me or my business.

When you receive other services (dentist, hairdresser, etc) do you snoop around with their other clients to make sure you're paying the same thing? Do you argue with them about paying missed appointment fees when you change your appointment at the last minute? This is no different.