No praising?

[mattsmom]

I agree with Brightsparks. I give praise when it is earned...like when kids will go out of their way to do something for another child, clean up without me asking or finally finishing that difficult puzzle that they've been working on. It does annoy me to no end when parents or caregivers constantly give praise no matter what. Doing something that they are supposed to do anyway is not a reason to give praise.

I think you should be honest and just ask the mom exactly what she means by not giving her praise. I'm also wondering why you are allowing her to stay with her child for 30 to 40 minutes after drop off? It's not a parent and tot playgroup, it's a home daycare....I would never allow that much time for drop off. They get their child's stuff off, say goodbyes and out the door.

[SillyGirl_C]

Hmm...offhand...do any of you view 'thanks you's' as a form of praise?

[Rachael]

No, thank you is a statement of gratitude. It's not praise.

[5 Little Monkeys]

It depends. If you're always saying "thank you for putting the toy away", "Ty for finishing your meal", "Ty for putting the book back", "thank you for going to the washroom" etc than I view that as praise and excessive lol

[bright sparks]

I agree with Brightsparks. I give praise when it is earned...like when kids will go out of their way to do something for another child, clean up without me asking or finally finishing that difficult puzzle that they've been working on. It does annoy me to no end when parents or caregivers constantly give praise no matter what. Doing something that they are supposed to do anyway is not a reason to give praise.

I think you should be honest and just ask the mom exactly what she means by not giving her praise. I'm also wondering why you are allowing her to stay with her child for 30 to 40 minutes after drop off? It's not a parent and tot playgroup, it's a home daycare....I would never allow that much time for drop off. They get their child's stuff off, say goodbyes and out the door.

Haha I'm the other Brit on here matts on but it wasn't me who posted, it was Rachael lol although I agree completely wi her comments on this topic and totally understand having been here for 9 years from the UK, and it is something that can really grate on me too. Especially when a child is praised for something unnecessarily paired with that silly baby voice....even when they are 10 years old loll

[bright sparks]

Hmm...offhand...do any of you view 'thanks you's' as a form of praise?

Thank you is a sign of gratitude, acknowledgement and validation, not praise. Very important but it's not the frequency in which they are offered that is important, but when and why they are.

[SillyGirl_C]

It depends. If you're always saying "thank you for putting the toy away", "Ty for finishing your meal", "Ty for putting the book back", "thank you for going to the washroom" etc than I view that as praise and excessive lol

Ok...guilty as charged. We say thank you to her a lot. to be fair though, it has taught her to say thank you to us when we do things for her too. Hmmm....may need to rethink our strategy on this one. Thanks ladies

[5 Little Monkeys]

It's tricky! Lol

Obviously saying thank you is never a bad thing but I do think it can easily get out of control. There are just something's that we need to do and are expected of us but I don't feel a "thank you" is always needed. Can you imagine how many times we would say thank you throughout the day when you are watching 4-8 children if you are saying thank you for everything lol

IMO, If it's always given, I think we start to expect it and than we feel under valued when we don't get it even though that's not the case. I also think it starts to lose it's value if we say it for every little thing they do. My husband says thank you A LOT and I know this probably makes me sound horrible, but it sometimes drives me crazy!! Lol. It loses it's meaning because I feel he just says it out of habit/politeness and not because he truly means it (most of the time I know when he truly means it though!)

I have 2 families who say thank you for looking after their children every single day but to be honest, it means more from the other families when they say it occasionally because I feel like the other 2 are just saying it to be polite. Does that make sense....or am I just sounding ungrateful?!

[playfelt]

It makes sense to me 5LM in the sense that I don't force the children to do many of those little politeness things as it becomes a ritual and nothing else. I want them to say it because they mean it and that also means understanding why and when to say it. I say it and applaud them if they say it back but don't stand there holding a cookie enticing a 2 year old to say please before they can have it like I know some providers/parents do. I too have parents that ritualistically say thank you as they pick up their kids and while I like it it falls on deaf ears many times as it gets lost as a ritual in that I know they are doing it out of habit too.