Dealing with parents in an ugly divorce

[Lee-Bee]

:-(

Such a difficult situation, for you and the kids.

If you truly wish to continue, if caring for the children (outside of the parents drama) is enjoyable and is something you wish to do then I would tend to agree with the idea that you let the parents know that they are not to involve you in anything. That you are giving notice of termination but that you will tentatively proceed with care if both parents agree that they and only they will do drop offs and pick ups (meaning you will never see a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, grandma, aunt or who ever).

This will mean you are directly removed from the childish behavior of the mother and father trying to hurt each other by sending people or refusing people to pick up the girls.

If either parents attempts to pull you in to this battle again or if either parent sends someone else for pick up that will be your last day of care.

This means the parents need to step up and put the children first. If either of them cannot pick the girls up on their given day THEY have to call the other parent to have them do pick up. You will only see mom or dad.

I would HOPE that by making it clear to them that you WANT to continue care, that you want to be that stable ground for the girls but cannot do this if the Mom and Dad do not let you (by leaving you out of the bickering) they might step back, see what they are doing and make some changes.

Hope they pull their act together for the girls sake!!

[flowerchild]

:-(

That you are giving notice of termination but that you will tentatively proceed with care if both parents agree that they and only they will do drop offs and pick ups (meaning you will never see a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, grandma, aunt or who ever).

If either parents attempts to pull you in to this battle again or if either parent sends someone else for pick up that will be your last day of care.

I agree with this.

Put it in writing. Make BOTH parents initial ALL copies to demonstrate that they have read and understood.

I would also have a letter ready to provide at a moment's notice that you are terminating care due to not following the agreement. Then you don't have to worry about verbally terminating and giving them time to argue or beg for another chance.