Handling misbehaviour

[playfelt]

For a 2 year old it is normal. Apologies are to passify the adult and have no real meaning to the child. A good habit for them to get into but be careful it doesn't backfire if child refuses to say sorry. Take stock of how often you are using the share timer because that might be part of the problem rather than the solution. Letting one child play with a toy till they are done with it may be better than expecting them to get their play over with in a certain length of time in the sense that it gives the 2 year old wanter power to be a bully by only wanting the toy that someone else has and the timer makes them give it up eventually. I'm sure there are plenty of other toys in your playroom and if one is being used they have to go choose a different one. Favourite items can be rotated daily or after snack when you go back to play the child that wanted gets first dibs on it to have a turn if they want, etc.

Because the behaviour is normal for a 2 year old you can go the time out route or you can go the play somewhere else route - annoy your friends and you have to play over here where you can't annoy them - toss the bark chips all you want but over here not there. Child may get up and move back to the group whenever they want but must play within the rules (ie no set time to be apart). Repeat offence and then you get put in the stroller. What that does is acknowledges that the behaviour is normal but at the same time not acceptable but not every offence is worthy of a time out.

[torontokids]

For a 2 year old it is normal. Apologies are to passify the adult and have no real meaning to the child. A good habit for them to get into but be careful it doesn't backfire if child refuses to say sorry. Take stock of how often you are using the share timer because that might be part of the problem rather than the solution. Letting one child play with a toy till they are done with it may be better than expecting them to get their play over with in a certain length of time in the sense that it gives the 2 year old wanter power to be a bully by only wanting the toy that someone else has and the timer makes them give it up eventually. I'm sure there are plenty of other toys in your playroom and if one is being used they have to go choose a different one. Favourite items can be rotated daily or after snack when you go back to play the child that wanted gets first dibs on it to have a turn if they want, etc.

Because the behaviour is normal for a 2 year old you can go the time out route or you can go the play somewhere else route - annoy your friends and you have to play over here where you can't annoy them - toss the bark chips all you want but over here not there. Child may get up and move back to the group whenever they want but must play within the rules (ie no set time to be apart). Repeat offence and then you get put in the stroller. What that does is acknowledges that the behaviour is normal but at the same time not acceptable but not every offense is worthy of a time out.

This was really helpful, thank you. I have been wondering about the share timer as I want them to have ample time to play with the desired toy but this has seemed to help them with sharing somewhat. It at least stopped a lot of the bickering over toys.

I have used the idea of separation without a timeout with older kids but never tried it with a 2 year old. I will have to see how that works.

[Lee-Bee]

This was really helpful, thank you. I have been wondering about the share timer as I want them to have ample time to play with the desired toy but this has seemed to help them with sharing somewhat. It at least stopped a lot of the bickering over toys.

I have used the idea of separation without a timeout with older kids but never tried it with a 2 year old. I will have to see how that works.

I'm not a fan of the share timer. In my opinion if a child is playing with a toy they should be free to play with it as long as they wish, as long as they are playing with it and not just holding it to prevent another child from using it. It just sucks to have a set time to use something. I think even young children start to realize there is no point in getting involved with their play if the timer will ring and end your play before you are done.

I just tell the child that so-and-so is using it, when she is done with it you can have a turn (I then turn to so-and-so and say when you are finished can you tell your friend so she can have her turn). It not only means the kids can enjoy their play but it also means you are not becoming toy share timer police in having to set and reset the timer all day.

I also agree with not using time outs for everything. Especially with a 2yr old. Tell them if they are not playing nice they need to play elsewhere and send them off. When they try and return say "oh, it looks like you are ready to play nicely". The message learned is that they need to play in a socially acceptable manner to be part of the group.