Am I crazy?

[flowerchild]

My point is both my children grew up in a daycare and both have said it wasn't great. They had to share me all day, at night I was so tired of "playing" I had nothing left for my kids. My kids did not have after school activities because I just couldn't get them there (it is good to hear most of you are managing that aspect!). Daycare was good for me, but not for my kids.

I just wanted to highlight this.

People are always saying how nice is it that I can do daycare and be home with my kids. The truth is, its not always nice for my kids. Sure they enjoy playing with their friends all the time, but they share their mom, they share their toys, they share their home. If one of them is feeling a little crummy (but not full out sick) and just wants to spend a day snuggling with their mommy, they can't because there is a house full of kids that mommy needs to attend to. They get bitten and hit a lot. This past summer, my daughter was crying to me one morning that she "didn't want DCK to come because she hits me." It broke my heart.

[MommaL]

I just wanted to highlight this.

People are always saying how nice is it that I can do daycare and be home with my kids. The truth is, its not always nice for my kids. Sure they enjoy playing with their friends all the time, but they share their mom, they share their toys, they share their home. If one of them is feeling a little crummy (but not full out sick) and just wants to spend a day snuggling with their mommy, they can't because there is a house full of kids that mommy needs to attend to. They get bitten and hit a lot. This past summer, my daughter was crying to me one morning that she "didn't want DCK to come because she hits me." It broke my heart.

I've thought a lot about how being a DCP would affect my children. The thing is, the situation right now isn't great. My work day might only be 8 hours, but that doesn't include all the driving and daycare drop-offs and pick-ups. My kids are at daycare by 7:30 and we're not home until 5:30. By the time we cook, eat dinner and tidy up, there's very little time in the evenings before it's time for them to go to bed. I too can't get my kids to after school activities unless it's after 6:00 (at the earliest) and that means coming home, changing and rushing out the door with a sandwich for dinner. There's a perception that working parents can easily leave work during the day for school events or leave early to take their kids to their activities. That's not the case for me.

If I have a daycare, I have many plans to ensure that my kids aren't affected too negatively. Perhaps some are unrealistic but it's important for me to at least try. My basement will be dedicated daycare space. Kids will nap in our extra bedroom or in my bedroom if needed. They will not nap in my kids rooms. There will be daycare toys and my kids toys. Anything special that my kids don't want to share will be kept upstairs or in their rooms during daycare hours. I will be able to see my children off to the school bus and be there when they come home. I certainly am unable to do that now. For times when I want to attend a school event, I will have a reliable family member that both the daycare kids and their parents will have met before to come look after the kids for a short time while I am away. The good news is that the school is just a few minutes from our house (versus a 30 minute drive from my current workplace). I also think that evenings when we have activities will feel less rushed because I will close at 5:00 and can have dinner ready (or close to being ready) to go (even if it's just leftovers from lunch).

So I guess I'd like to think that after being in a daycare away from me all this time, my kids will appreciate the extra time with me and the opportunity to do things that we couldn't easily do before.

[MommaL]

[QUOTE=flowerchild;81 051
They get bitten and hit a lot. This past summer, my daughter was crying to me one morning that she "didn't want DCK to come because she hits me." It broke my heart.[/QUOTE]

I just wanted to say that my kids get hit, bitten and kicked at the daycare they are at now too. Both of my kids have cried about not wanting to go to daycare because they don't like a particular kid there or because they'd rather stay home. When it comes to daycare, I don't think this can ever be completely avoided, no matter whether it's your own daycare or somewhere else. At least when it's my own daycare, I can hug my child if they are hurting and deal with the situation as I see fit. Right now, I have no control over it.

[flowerchild]

I just wanted to say that my kids get hit, bitten and kicked at the daycare they are at now too. Both of my kids have cried about not wanting to go to daycare because they don't like a particular kid there or because they'd rather stay home. When it comes to daycare, I don't think this can ever be completely avoided, no matter whether it's your own daycare or somewhere else. At least when it's my own daycare, I can hug my child if they are hurting and deal with the situation as I see fit. Right now, I have no control over it.

I realize that my kids would have to deal with stuff like that regardless of what childcare situation they were in. I've had kids in daycare too.

I deal with those types of behaviours as I see fit and I comfort my kids when it happens, but it doesn't change the fact that it happens to them and in their own home which is suppose to be their safe place. I don't know how old your children are, but if they are young, they don't understand the business/daycare aspect of it - they just see that mom lets these kids come over and these kids keep hurting them. When one of my daycare kids was going through a particularly brutal biting/hitting phase, my daughter started acting out too. A lot of anger and aggression towards me. When we had holidays shortly after and there was no daycare kids, all of that went away.

I'm glad you have a separate space for your daycare. My home is not big enough to have a dedicated daycare space nor is it big enough to have two sets of toys, so my home is my daycare. I have the upstairs off limits except for nap times, so my kids can go up to their rooms if they need their own space and they can keep their "special" toys up there. Its the best that I can do for them that way.

I know it sounds like I'm being really negative and that I think this job is horrible. I don't. There are lots of aspects of it that I love, but I just don't want you to go into this thinking that it is going to be perfect. It's a great job but a tough job. I could be wrong, but I'm getting a bit of a vibe from your posts that you may think starting your daycare will be a fix-all and that all the frustration etc you have with being a working parent at your current job will go away. If you start a HDC, you will still be a working parent, you will just have your children with you at work.

[MommaL]

I could be wrong, but I'm getting a bit of a vibe from your posts that you may think starting your daycare will be a fix-all and that all the frustration etc you have with being a working parent at your current job will go away. If you start a HDC, you will still be a working parent, you will just have your children with you at work.

I don't feel this way at all. That's why my initial post was asking if I'm crazy LOL. I know it's a tough job with its own set of challenges. I know that for every pro, there's going to be a con. I truly admire all the daycare providers out there. I guess I'm just thinking out loud (or in this case writing down) how I hope to deal with some of the challenges that so many daycare providers face.

Thanks again to everyone for posting. It's honestly been very helpful to me.