Daycare providers who have young kids

[bright sparks]

Our last daycare provider had two young children of her own. Her kids were essentially able to do whatever they wanted: watch TV upstairs while my daughter had to stay downstairs, help themselves to snacks and drinks, sleep in their beds while my daughter was on a mat or choose not to nap at all while my daughter was told that she had to. I can certainly understand that this is their home. But it was really difficult for my daughter because she doesn't quite understand why these two other kids were able to do things that she couldn't. I'm just curious if this is fairly standard amongst daycare providers with young children? Am I completely unreasonable to want someone whose own children have the same expectations and rules as the other daycare kids.

I'm just curious, how old are the children in question...both yours and the daycare providers

[lisapisa]

I'm just curious, how old are the children in question...both yours and the daycare providers

My daughter is almost 4. Our previous daycare provider's kids were 3 and 5. So because of similarities in age and because she did consider them her friends, I think my daughter really noted the comparisons and differences between what she did and what they did. I did try to explain to her that it was their home and so they were doing things that she herself does when she's at home. But I think it was still pretty hard for her not to be bitter.

There's been lots of new posts since I was on here last! I'm starting to think that perhaps I should just avoid daycare providers with small kids of their own if I don't want the same thing to happen. I am actually going to meet with someone tonight who I think is older (she's been doing daycare for 30 years), so I imagine her kids (if she has any) are older. Here's hoping it turns out to be a good fit.