Teenage Daughter vent

[Lee-Bee]

The biggest piece of advise I can give to anyone and everyone is to NEVER respond in a way that tells them you are happy or with their decision to end a relationship. Doesn't matter how bad the relationship was you NEVER say I am glad, or I have been hoping you would, or good for you.

BECAUSE if they change their mind and are back together the next day, week or month they will remember that you did not like that person. You then have made it so you are no longer a safe person to consult if the relationship that ended but restarted goes bad.

As others mentioned the best thing to do is to nod, hug, offer to listen more. Nothing judgmental, nothing that says it was a good or bad move. Just be there to listen.

Now...if it is a teenager you need to tread even more carefully. They already feel like the world is against them and their defenses will be up. Best you can do is try and remember they are inexperienced, scared and dealing with a lot of emotions. Best thing to do if be a safe, nonjudgemental person to vent to. Try not to take it personally when everything you do seems like it was wrong (even when it wasn't).

Good luck!!

[ebhappydc]

The biggest piece of advise I can give to anyone and everyone is to NEVER respond in a way that tells them you are happy or with their decision to end a relationship. Doesn't matter how bad the relationship was you NEVER say I am glad, or I have been hoping you would, or good for you.

BECAUSE if they change their mind and are back together the next day, week or month they will remember that you did not like that person. You then have made it so you are no longer a safe person to consult if the relationship that ended but restarted goes bad.

As others mentioned the best thing to do is to nod, hug, offer to listen more. Nothing judgmental, nothing that says it was a good or bad move. Just be there to listen.

Now...if it is a teenager you need to tread even more carefully. They already feel like the world is against them and their defenses will be up. Best you can do is try and remember they are inexperienced, scared and dealing with a lot of emotions. Best thing to do if be a safe, nonjudgemental person to vent to. Try not to take it personally when everything you do seems like it was wrong (even when it wasn't).

Good luck!!

I see that now. I wish I could filter my thoughts and then words when emotions run high. I'm a good parent most of the time my teens tell me but I suck some times too. She asked me to help her shop for dorm stuff so not all is lost. I actually miss his presence too even tho I know he wouldn't be a good life mate. I'm proud she made such a hard decision.

[Lee-Bee]

I see that now. I wish I could filter my thoughts and then words when emotions run high. I'm a good parent most of the time my teens tell me but I suck some times too. She asked me to help her shop for dorm stuff so not all is lost. I actually miss his presence too even tho I know he wouldn't be a good life mate. I'm proud she made such a hard decision.

Oh I was by NO means implying you aren't a good parent! I think most people's reaction is to say something that makes it sound like breaking up was a good idea. It just seems like the right thing to say. But I long ago read somewhere how it isn't a good idea. Especially in cases of 'bad' relationships because when they get back together (which often happens) you are no longer a person they can confide in...which they NEED.

Have fun shopping for dorm stuff! Life is hard, moms get the brunt of the attitude from teens in these situations because you are a safe person. Just try and muddle your way through and in time your relationship is grow close and strong again :-)