Pick-up Time Power Struggle

[MommaL]

Yikes, I kind of feel lectured for sharing my experience of being a mom who had a two year old who would kick and screen on the front lawn, driveway or floor of my back seat for 20 minutes every day after daycare. Maybe what I did isn't the popular answer, but it worked. I don't see it as being the same thing as watching my child crying on the floor and saying that I'll buy them ice cream if they get up. Rather, it was a distraction so that she no longer thought to scream or cry to begin with. Five years later, she's still the most respectful and well behaved child I know (and I'm not just saying that because she's mine). So I guess the two weeks of playing I-Spy and racing to the car when she was two years old didn't hurt her too much.

[bright sparks]

Yikes, I kind of feel lectured for sharing my experience of being a mom who had a two year old who would kick and screen on the front lawn, driveway or floor of my back seat for 20 minutes every day after daycare. Maybe what I did isn't the popular answer, but it worked. I don't see it as being the same thing as watching my child crying on the floor and saying that I'll buy them ice cream if they get up. Rather, it was a distraction so that she no longer thought to scream or cry to begin with. Five years later, she's still the most respectful and well behaved child I know (and I'm not just saying that because she's mine). So I guess the two weeks of playing I-Spy and racing to the car when she was two years old didn't hurt her too much.

Certainly wasn't mean't with the intention of lecturing you MommaL, simply my direct opinion of why this commonly doesn't work and you have said it lasted 2 weeks, whereas I hazard a guess that many do it in all areas for an easier time of things for an extended period of time, if not almost constantly. Having two teenagers and doing daycare for 11 years, I've seen it all as a care provider and a mother. No matter what we do it can backfire, but I do believe we have a duty to teach our kids the realities of consequences for not following rules vs pacifying them. I have had my son throw himself on the floor or even on the front lawn, many many times. I just never viewed it as embarrassing and that made it much easier to deal with. If he wanted to behave that way then go for it. I literally just pick him up kicking and screaming and place him in the car. It was absolutely unnecessary for me to try to calm him down to save face. Why do I need to discuss it with him? It is much more effective for me to talk to him about more appropriate behaviours when he had calmed down. He soon learned that he got absolutely zero reaction from me for these types of behaviours and it stopped. I feel like that was a much more important life lesson for him to be taught which he could apply to other areas of his life with a learn by association lesson of negative behaviours=negative consequences. Also sounds like the OP is talking about a bit of a chronic issue versus a child going through a phase.