We may be terminated by the end of our second day...

For what ever its worth, after reading some of the comments, I am not raising a feral child nor do I keep him in a crate. He is generally a very happy and easy going child. He does get stuck on things...he loves the escalator but gets stuck on it when we go to the playarea (they are less than 20 feet apart). He has a routine for nap, meals, bathtime and bedtime. We go to the park everyday, rain or shine. He plays well on his own with his toys, reads to himself in a quiet room and interacts with us in a fairly constant congenial manner.

Seriously, a couple of you are way off base with your response to my simple request for input.

To those that responded without making me appear to be unfit, thank you. Thank you, for letting me know that kids need time to transition. His behaviour was much improved today and the caregiver was very happy. His aggression and meltdown from yesterday was apparently due to an outing to the playarea in the building (by the escalator). The trip was short because he kept heading to the escalator...meltdown followed when they all had to head back upstairs. He was aggressive but not hitting, biting or fighting.

I believe that he was overwhelmed with the stress of the day and didn't know how to deal with it. We've never even had occasion to get a babysitter for him in is own home much less leave him in someone elses home. I'm not looking to my caregiver to fix everything for us...I am looking for someone who can give us some honest feedback and offer us some ideas on how to approach some things differently. We had a good long talk today and we can both see that he just needs some time to settle in.

Read for comprehension please.

Seriously? We are at the park every morning. We do playgroups once a week. We have no family here and no friends with children. I did not offer to lay blame anywhere. I asked two simple questions. Nothing more and nothing less.

Happy that things seem to be working out for you:)

I get one of the issues now from reading the escalator story. It is actually a common scenario with only children that mom or dad follows their lead and lets them do certain things instead of directing them in a different direction. When you are dealing with a group of children it is expected that the "group" will cooperate and work as a unit. By the time a child is 2 they have learned that no matter what the rules are at home at daycare I have to do as Ms.... says even if I want to still play in area A we move on to area B - ie into the play area and away from the escalator. We do not have tantrums because we do not get our own way.

The reason your caregiver is saying it won't work is because she must take her group on several outings and they have all learned to function as a group putting the interests of the group over individual desires and follow the teacher's lead. If your child is not willing to compromise and work with the group then they are not a good match for the group and need someone who can let them wander off on their own - ie their own caregiver.

The same scenario is going to play out no matter where your child goes. You can help your child through this problem by teaching him that you are the authority not him. That means you let him ride the escalator up and down and then you tell him time to go to the play area or to a store or whatever and if he protests you remind him that his job is to do as he is told, take his hand and go where you said you were going. No matter how much he protests he is not allowed to go back to the escalator. IF he behaves in the place you go he will be allowed to take the escalator back down or whatever at the end of play. IF he puts up a protest he loses the privilege and must take the stairs or elevator but will get a chance the next day or soon to try again to listen and obey the new rules. THEN your child will be ready to go into group care - he is not top dog and unfortunately you have taught him that he is. Not intentionally I am sure but just by letting him do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

The same scenario is going to play out no matter where your child goes. You can help your child through this problem by teaching him that you are the authority not him. That means you let him ride the escalator up and down and then you tell him time to go to the play area or to a store or whatever and if he protests you remind him that his job is to do as he is told, take his hand and go where you said you were going. No matter how much he protests he is not allowed to go back to the escalator. IF he behaves in the place you go he will be allowed to take the escalator back down or whatever at the end of play. IF he puts up a protest he loses the privilege and must take the stairs or elevator but will get a chance the next day or soon to try again to listen and obey the new rules. THEN your child will be ready to go into group care - he is not top dog and unfortunately you have taught him that he is. Not intentionally I am sure but just by letting him do whatever he wants whenever he wants.

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Yes. Exactly this.

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Originally Posted by Lucyskye

For what ever its worth, after reading some of the comments, I am not raising a feral child nor do I keep him in a crate. He is generally a very happy and easy going child. He does get stuck on things...he loves the escalator but gets stuck on it when we go to the playarea (they are less than 20 feet apart). He has a routine for nap, meals, bathtime and bedtime. We go to the park everyday, rain or shine. He plays well on his own with his toys, reads to himself in a quiet room and interacts with us in a fairly constant congenial manner.

Seriously, a couple of you are way off base with your response to my simple request for input.

To those that responded without making me appear to be unfit, thank you. Thank you, for letting me know that kids need time to transition. His behaviour was much improved today and the caregiver was very happy. His aggression and meltdown from yesterday was apparently due to an outing to the playarea in the building (by the escalator). The trip was short because he kept heading to the escalator...meltdown followed when they all had to head back upstairs. He was aggressive but not hitting, biting or fighting.

I believe that he was overwhelmed with the stress of the day and didn't know how to deal with it. We've never even had occasion to get a babysitter for him in is own home much less leave him in someone elses home. I'm not looking to my caregiver to fix everything for us...I am looking for someone who can give us some honest feedback and offer us some ideas on how to approach some things differently. We had a good long talk today and we can both see that he just needs some time to settle in.

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I can`t understand why some of these providers respond so harshly. You asked a simple question about transition periods for kids at daycare and some of these responses caught me off guard too...has nothing to do with your original question. The response by daycarewhisperer was totally uncalled for, extremely rude, and didn`t even address your question. If you read some of the questions and responses by some of the providers on here they seem like such bitter, uncaring individuals. I`m often surprised that they even have a daycare business... if parents saw their posts on here they would be surprised. So don`t you worry about the rude responses on here, that`s just how they are. Good luck with your current daycare provider, hopefully she`s a good and caring provider.

HaHa...does anyone else spy a troll? Sounds uncanny how much this sounds like another certain trouble maker who was on here until recently.

Troll or not, I have to say I sadly agree :( I , too find some of the responses harsh. You can communicate something to someone asking for help/advice in a polite manner no matter what you think of the topic. This is a Mom, leaving her child in care for the first time and reaching out. Most of us are Moms, and most of us are caregivers...seems like it should be a great place to come and get some positive words of encouragement/advice/new ideas to try etc. Just my two cents.

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Originally Posted by Lou

Troll or not, I have to say I sadly agree :( I , too find some of the responses harsh. You can communicate something to someone asking for help/advice in a polite manner no matter what you think of the topic. This is a Mom, leaving her child in care for the first time and reaching out. Most of us are Moms, and most of us are caregivers...seems like it should be a great place to come and get some positive words of encouragement/advice/new ideas to try etc. Just my two cents.

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Yep I agree.