I get one of the issues now from reading the escalator story. It is actually a common scenario with only children that mom or dad follows their lead and lets them do certain things instead of directing them in a different direction. When you are dealing with a group of children it is expected that the "group" will cooperate and work as a unit. By the time a child is 2 they have learned that no matter what the rules are at home at daycare I have to do as Ms.... says even if I want to still play in area A we move on to area B - ie into the play area and away from the escalator. We do not have tantrums because we do not get our own way.

The reason your caregiver is saying it won't work is because she must take her group on several outings and they have all learned to function as a group putting the interests of the group over individual desires and follow the teacher's lead. If your child is not willing to compromise and work with the group then they are not a good match for the group and need someone who can let them wander off on their own - ie their own caregiver.

The same scenario is going to play out no matter where your child goes. You can help your child through this problem by teaching him that you are the authority not him. That means you let him ride the escalator up and down and then you tell him time to go to the play area or to a store or whatever and if he protests you remind him that his job is to do as he is told, take his hand and go where you said you were going. No matter how much he protests he is not allowed to go back to the escalator. IF he behaves in the place you go he will be allowed to take the escalator back down or whatever at the end of play. IF he puts up a protest he loses the privilege and must take the stairs or elevator but will get a chance the next day or soon to try again to listen and obey the new rules. THEN your child will be ready to go into group care - he is not top dog and unfortunately you have taught him that he is. Not intentionally I am sure but just by letting him do whatever he wants whenever he wants.