@ Sunny days Exactly...
And if you think I am lazy and whatever you said to me before....
I actually have an ECE student for the next two weeks so she is busy with my kidlets while I just do mindless activity for a bit....
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@ Sunny days Exactly...
And if you think I am lazy and whatever you said to me before....
I actually have an ECE student for the next two weeks so she is busy with my kidlets while I just do mindless activity for a bit....
Why is she still here? I suggest responding to darasmommy is a waste of time and pershaps we and definitely me should stop trying to reason with the unreasonable.
I think you forget that like you most of us ARE PARENTS ourselves first and foremost who want what is best for our own children and one would hope by inclusion since our kids spend the day home with us that this would cross over to ALL those in our care ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by darasmommy
By your logic if I were to come on to a parenting forum and basically SLAM ALL the stay at home moms who used that parenting forum for being lazy uncaring parents who just married a man in order to take advantage of being able to sit home all day eating bon bons while the kids ran wild because a bunch of different SAHM were coming to the one park in my neighborhood and congregating over their expensive lattes and crumpets while talking fashion and comparing nails while their children ran wild and unsupervised and basically leaving ME to redirect their kids inappropriate bullying or aggressive behavior toward my crew in order to keep my kids safe while I was trying to work for a living and how disgusting I found it that they were blessed to be able to be home with their children not having to 'work an additional job' on top of that and they turned around and abused that privilege by not properly 'being there' for their child ... that would be me offering those SAHM's some CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM .. I should expect that to be received with open arms of why Reggio thank you so much for pointing out the error of our ways we will certainly reflect more on our roles as parents?
Or if I were to go on and on about how disgusted their threads were venting about their spouses and children 'challenging' behaviours and how they should just be 'grateful to be taken care of by a man' if the first place cause really they have no right to vent about him or any of his inappropriate behaviours because after all he PAYS for their ability to stay home and in reality that means they 'work' for him and should just be happy to have a job to do and therefore do as they are told with a smile and a thank you sir may I have another every time he is a jerk ... that too would be viewed as CONSTRUCTIVE way for me to speak to them?
Cause in reality that would be no DIFFERENT than what you have done here on this board except exchange SAHM with childcare provider and exchange spouse with client .... and I am betting YOU would be all over calling me out for my rude behaviour were I to do that ... and well admittedly so would I because it WOULD be rude and anything BUT constructive!
See IMO there is a difference between venting about BEHAVIORS that someone exhibits that are not acceptable and asking for advice on how to handle that and what you are doing which is JUDGING an entire profession by the behaviours of a small few!
I think every provider on here would agree that yes there ARE less than stellar providers in the world ~ we too have seen them at parks and playgroups, and NO it is not a prudent choice to be doing each others 'nails' at the park while you are suppose to be supervising children cause while there are somethings you can multi task in this job 'wet nails' is not one of them .... but your JUDGING US ALL as lazy babysitters out to make a quick buck based on those providers behavior is WRONG!
And while I agree that sometimes it is hard for some providers to vent 'politely and professionally' when someone has stiffed you with payment or been late yet again or dropped off their sick kid and made your whole family sick or a child who is not yours has just bitten, kicked or called you a swear word and well you are just feeling at the end of your rope and a swear word or adjective pops out that just makes you momentarily feel better when in reality no it is not so 'professional' but sometimes it is just hard to be professional in those circumstances .... seriously when was the last time YOU were bitten at work or had someone throw something at you ~ you think you'd be all smiles and decorum sharing that experience with your coworker?
Your coming on here and implying that providers should not VENT about inappropriate behaviors in their programs and how to fix that without being JUDGED by parents like you as uncaring money grabbing clods .... well as Judy mentioned in another thread is just detrimental to the whole INDUSTRY and works to create more isolation and burn out for providers who than will be afraid to speak out about their feelings of being taken advantage and to ask for help ... and we will continue to see a shortage of those willing to DO this job.
So unless society wants to return to a time when women ALL STAYED HOME full time to raise their own children than we better start looking for ways to SUPPORT and RESPECT those of us who choose to provide childcare to those who work outside the home to want to continue to do this ... cause it is obvious that people are NOT lining up to take on these roles there is a shortage of people entering ECE in colleges, there is a shortage of staff in childcare centres and so forth due to the lack of respect and support our industry receives ... and if we keep treating childcare professionals with indignantly it is going to get pretty dang hard for those of you who want or need to work outside the home to be able to do that the more and more of us who are driven out of the professional by those clients who are rude, disrespectful, supportive and just plan difficult to work with or the rising number of 'challenging' children that parent seem to be breeding these days .... honestly in my 25 years in the field the increase in socially unacceptable and violent behaviour children exhibit at younger and younger ages is just astounding to me and as a result the 'working conditions' for providers have become more and more violent and stressful and society wonders why we are feeling 'jaded and negative' all the time ... if you do not have a way to keep yourself SANE by letting that go to a peer and finding tips on how to deal well than that negativity takes over your whole entire program!
Wow by calling people here oxymoron you proved how cleaver YOU are. Calling people names is a way of saying " actually I'm an idiot and I can't say anything better but if I call you names then it will satisfy my ego and I will actually believe I'm clever. " it's a physiological thing. It's OK. We now you are sick and we don't judge Well... I guess all we can say is get well soon :)
@ cocoon... Zing...
lol
:rolleyes:I have only two things to add to this long drawn out thread:
1. I am eternally grateful that Darasmommy does NOT live in my area! (Whew! Dodged a bullet there)
and
2. I am also eternally grateful I am not Dara as I would be mortified that my mother is so self-righteous and uppity that she cannot find a more constructive and beneficial way to improve the parent-provider relationship.
Like any relationship, it takes two to make it work. I can see why Dara's mommy has a hard time making things work with her provider (or past provider)...as she has nothing substantial to offer and the only thing she cannot let go is what other providers do at some park....
I don't know what park you are going to and I don't care, but for the love of Pete, STOP going there if it bothers you so much!!! Good lord woman.....find something better to do with your time. I have only been on this site twice to read a few posts and both times my experience has been ruined by you!! :rolleyes:
OK- ladies- please. We can disagree--- we can debate but do so without attacking one another.
The only person attacking people is Darasmommy. She came on here out of the blue and started telling us what horrible people we are.
I find it ironic that you agree with the mod, when you Darasmommy came in a started up this mess yourself, that is really stellar. Oh and also I see tons of typo's on this webpage, but I would rather take the time to actually help then point out things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things.
I am new to this forum but it does not appear to be moderated well or else this troll would have been kicked off already. Best practice is to ignore trolls since their only objective is to stir the shit. If you keep responding, the trolls keep spewing crap. Trolls love it when they get people's knickers in a twist so just stop responding, totally ignore troll posts. I know you feel the need to correct and flame but all that does is make the troll happy, it really does. And she is not a representation of the parents on here, nor are her views. Sadly, there is no cure for stupid, so stop trying.
Just for the record, Darasmommy, an oxymoron is a phrase that combines contradictory terms, (ie. jumbo shrimp, non-working mother etc.) Your use of "judging parents for judging you" is an incorrect use of the term oxymoron. Your phrase would be considered hypocritical. I didn't want anyone else on the list to get the wrong idea from you about what this means. I get a bit obsessive about grammar since my other job (in addition to being a daycare provider) is as a university communications professor.
Thank you treeholm...I have my degree in Applied Linguistics and was an ESL teacher until I opened my daycare...I wanted to point this out, but decided not to bother and did not want to embarras anyone for their incorrect assumption that oxymoron was something used in name calling (I suppose it was confused with moron). I am glad you cleared this up for everyone involved :)
I completely agree with you, but I don't want to be a part of a forum where someone can come on and abuse and attack us at their whim. And I really don't want to leave this forum because I enjoy it very much. I'm surprised that you don't seem to understand the way the caregivers feel at being attacked by this parent, but respect your decision as the moderator. Many people have tried to reason with darasmommy and suggest positive answers for her such as finding a great caregiver next time or a therapist and I think that we have been more than reasonable on our side.Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof4
I joined this forum several months ago but just recently posted for the first time. I too appreciate from a parent's viewpoint the discussion threads here and do feel as though the responses to Darasmommy were very informational, nonjudgemental and calm at first but then she was allowed to continue her ranting without actually adding anything substantial to the conversation and that was the moment I began to doubt my membership here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momof4
I love differing viewpoints and different opinions as that is what makes the world go round...kwim? I enjoy reading perspectives that I hadn't considered before but the second someone starts getting rude and condescending to others, I cringe because that is EXACTLY what is wrong with society now days. When one person believes that their way is the ONLY way, it is impossible to have an intelligent conversation with them anymore and mud slinging begins.
I know that I will no longer be visiting this forum if people are going to be allowed to continue being so rude and mean to other posters. I have seen several places where a moderator has stepped in and said that everyone should play nice but not once has a moderator actually called out the person who started it.
I am both a provider and a parent and I think that respect is an absolute must from BOTH parties and so far from what I have read here, that hasn't been the case.
I sincerely hope that everyone can just agree to disagree.
Serendipity I agree!!
I agree with the posters discontent regarding the lack of communication from the administrator regarding a posters rude and disingenous remarks. I have alerted the admin myself a few times regarding the posters poor attitude and know other forum members have done so as well. If admin has some view points for us to consider why no action has been taken, I would like to see them. I enjoy this forum tremendously and the last thing I want to read is a post from a bully.
Hi there- stepping in here- yes I am aware of the issues, and I have been communicating with individuals but as we are all adults I would assume that no one needs to be taken to task in public.
As far as banning someone goes, I do not have the rights as a mod to ban someone.
who does then??
the admin. Please remember the 'ignore' feature. It can save a lot of headaches.
Mamaof4 just wanted to thank you for elaborating on the policy for dealing with rude or bully style posts. I agree with it is best that individuals are being handled in 'private' but this is very good to know for the future should another 'hot topic' come about because when a public 'knock it off' reminder post is made by a mod to 'everyone' than one can assume if they have notbeen spoken to in private as well that their response was within acceptable manner?Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof4
Sunnydays... I probably should have resisted the urge to correct Darasmommy but I'm afraid I have less restraint that you do... I've been known to take a sharpie out of my purse and correct grammatical errors on store signs... yup, not kidding. Ikea... My daughter was mortified LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by sunnydays
Oh, and while I'm on a roll with correcting errors... physiological does NOT refer to the body, it refers to living systems. PHYSICAL refers to the body. Psychological refers to the mind. Yup, my second degree was in neuro-physiology... I think I'm becoming insufferable, sorry....Quote:
Originally Posted by darasmommy
Ha ha! I'm a bit of a grammar corrector too! Just wanted to mention that not all posters have English as a first language and use the wrong words sometimes and others may use mobile devices that insert strange words with auto correct but we all know what they meant to write.
Great point wonderwiper, I did not consider the fact that darasmommy might not speak English as her first language. I just became incensed that she was criticizing the care providers on this site; women of whom I have become quite protective. It was the mother bear instinct that made me point out errors. Auto correct can also be a nightmare; so true!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wonderwiper
ok- grammar?? let it rest already.
Since when is a discussion about grammar offensive? I don't think the last few posts were attacking anyone nor were they mean, abusive, etc. It was simply a discussion...nobody was being singled out for using incorrect grammar. And yes, there are certainly people here whose first language is not English and I assumed that was where the confusion about "oxymoron" came in and it was why I did not comment...because as someone who has taught ESL learners for many years, I know how embarrassing it can be to have your errors pointed out. I sincerely hope that nobody feels their grammar, spelling, etc will be picked apart on this forum! I know I am horrible for typos...I can't type to save my life, so my letters get reversed, left out, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof4
LOL!! You know what? That is why you see me editing my posts so often because I see a typo or a missused word heh.
I understand your frustration but its not fair to name providers because as we all know there are 2 sides to every story and not to say that someone is not being truthful but when disagreements happen it is possible for both sides to remember things differently. Alternatively, as a provider it would not be fair for me to post the names of parents who i have had difficulty with over the years. best to learn from each situation and move forward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niveah
I agree with you that we all work for money and yes the provider did work for the day BUt the child is only part time and she had been paid for many sick days so why couldnt she switch the day? What i mean is if the child comes mon, tues, wed but was sick and mom paid for those days but the child was better on friday why should she pay for another day? That comes down to flexibility in my mind. having said that, the parent should have specified that when she asked for a "favour" that she wanted the day for free.Quote:
Originally Posted by Steph
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnydays
ok i misunderstood
I think this post went off topic LOL
I believe the reason some of us feel the need to "flaunt" our degrees is to break through the streotype that you have been trying to push us into...that we are all a bunch of uneducated housewives with nothing else to do so we thought we'd make a bit of money by taking in kids to "watch" while we sit around watching soap operas and eating doughnuts (or painting our nails at the park). I will also add that those of us who do not have degrees are no less intelligent, worthy or accomplished in life or in caregiving.
Quote:
Originally Posted by darasmommy