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  1. #1
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    Just not a player

    Hi. I have a little guy here (3 1/2) who's just not much of a player. When all the dcks are here he follows their play or just does his own thing, but when there are just a couple or he's alone (he's my first one here) he literally does nothing. He won't go play by himself. He likes to follow me around or just wander. I guess it's just his style. He's the youngest of 4 at home, maybe it has to do with that.
    I try to get him to do things, but it never lasts more than 2 minutes, then it's back to nothing. He's content...not complaining he's bored or anything...just the way he is. If his parents ask what he did all day and he said "nothing" he wouldn't even be lying
    anyone else have kiddies like this. I mean, he's really easy...but...?

  2. #2
    jec
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    Ummmm...could be used to watching TV and just sitting there with 3 older siblings and some kids are quiet. Having said that ~ he might be showing signs of Autism. I am no expert but I have a friend who has a son with Autism and she mentioned to me that their signs were that he didn't play 'normally' with toys and other children and would just sit there often. Not making eye contact is another thing he did.
    I'm guessing that you've tried to get him to engage in activities ~ crafts etc. He doesn't want to?
    Nothing I would tell the parents he might have but just one of the first things that popped into my mind with a friend who deals with a little one who won't play either.

  3. #3
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    No, he shows no other signs at all. He will do a craft or play, just doesn't last long for him at all. During "free play" he's just happiest kind of wandering or asking me questions ALL day long!

  4. #4
    jec
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    Wish I had one of those easy going types
    I've got a group of 'what are we doing next' ~ keep me on my toes

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by gcj View Post
    Hi. I have a little guy here (3 1/2) who's just not much of a player. When all the dcks are here he follows their play or just does his own thing, but when there are just a couple or he's alone (he's my first one here) he literally does nothing. He won't go play by himself. He likes to follow me around or just wander. I guess it's just his style. He's the youngest of 4 at home, maybe it has to do with that.
    I try to get him to do things, but it never lasts more than 2 minutes, then it's back to nothing. He's content...not complaining he's bored or anything...just the way he is. If his parents ask what he did all day and he said "nothing" he wouldn't even be lying
    anyone else have kiddies like this. I mean, he's really easy...but...?
    I have one who used to be like that but after a few months she's playing like a champ. She doesn't always join in-group play but I don't make her. Some of us are more introverted and energy levels are way different. Does he like doing puzzles (24 piece kind ) I find these to be really a hit for my little one.
    Last edited by Skysue; 02-23-2012 at 01:20 PM.

  6. #6
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    I have a little guy (18months) who will not do ANYTHING if we go outside. It's like he's never seen outside before because he just stands there and doesn't move,lol. I try my best to engage him in running around play or on the slide, push toys, etc, but nope! Nada!

  7. #7
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    I had a 28 mo little girl who was like that. She would sit on the couch all day. If any type of transition happened, she'd lose her mind and cry. If I asked her to play, or even invited her to do something besides sit at the kitchen table or sit on the couch, she'd start crying. It was baffling.

    She was only 2 days a week, so I stopped taking the dcks out when she was here, as it was not worth the stress. I was going to terminate, but after weeks of telling her mom what her days were REALLY like here, she withdrew her and is putting her in a half day preschool instead.

  8. #8
    Euphoric !
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    I have a 3 year old boy who was following the older boy around nonstop saying what he said and doing exactly as he did for at least a year. Then the older boy graduated last Sept. for JK. The 3 year old boy was completely lost and didn't know how to play here but he's an only child at home and knows how to play there so I just waited. He has improved and is doing great now, but it took several months of encouraging him to play with the other children who were still here. He just missed his mentor so much.

    I'm wondering if the little boy in your care follows his older siblings around at home the way this boy followed the older boy around. I felt like this boy didn't know how to use his own imagination or his own mind and I'm thrilled to see that he is learning to do that now. Could that be the problem in your case too? Check with the Mom and keep up the good work.

  9. #9
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Yup - like in life - some kids are leaders and some kids are followers ... so if there is no one to 'follow' they are lost and some of us are lucky and find a balance and can lead and follow

    I have one kid who constantly says 'I need someone to play with me' and I am always saying 'you ARE someone - go play one your own dude'! He is also the youngest of sibling sets and has been 'entertained' since the day he was born - he is not use to be 'alone'.

    Playing is a 'skill' and some kids just need more encouragement to develop it!
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momof4 View Post
    I have a 3 year old boy who was following the older boy around nonstop saying what he said and doing exactly as he did for at least a year. Then the older boy graduated last Sept. for JK. The 3 year old boy was completely lost and didn't know how to play here but he's an only child at home and knows how to play there so I just waited. He has improved and is doing great now, but it took several months of encouraging him to play with the other children who were still here. He just missed his mentor so much.

    I'm wondering if the little boy in your care follows his older siblings around at home the way this boy followed the older boy around. I felt like this boy didn't know how to use his own imagination or his own mind and I'm thrilled to see that he is learning to do that now. Could that be the problem in your case too? Check with the Mom and keep up the good work.
    yeah, absolutely. he's the youngest of 4. When others are here and are leading him in play, he plays along for a bit, but on his own really can't play at all. I mean not even pushing around cars! But, he's happy..... he'll find a piece of dust on the floor (yes, I have dust!) and just kind of push it around...perfectly content.

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  1. My little non-player
    By gcj in forum Daycare activities
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    Last Post: 08-31-2012, 03:58 PM

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