So...How long do I let her cry before I move on?

[Sandbox Sally]

Edited for peace of mind

[sunnydays]

Wow! 5 weeks! That is rough. I think I'd be ready to terminate personally. It's sad, but 5 weeks is a long time to adjust (assuming she is full-time). Good luck with the decision.

[playfelt]

As part of the conflicting beliefs could also be different parenting styles and the child is not willing to adapt. In that case there is no hope unless you want to get downright stubborn - which can be translated as mean by some then it isn't going to work. I doubt mom is working to help the situation as much as she might be letting on because she won't realize what behaviours she is doing or not doing that is actually contributing to the problem.

If you have options then let them go. If you don't and need the income then work with the child at your house in spite of the mom and it may take quite awhile longer. Also realize the older the child gets the more they will mature and understand what is acceptable and not.

[apples and bananas]

5 weeks???? You're a stronger woman then I am! I have a new little one that cries most of the day. But she still naps for 2 hours and eats like a champ. And she's getting a little better and better every day. I can't imagion going 5 weeks with the constant crying and the short naps. I think you've done all you can... let them go and get your sanity back.

[Sandbox Sally]

Just what I needed to hear. Her mom even came to get her early today, and asked me how long I was willing to let this go on. I just don't think that we're a good match.

I do have options. I am happy for this. I can't help but feel defeated, though!

[michellesmunchkins]

I had one who took 6 months!!!!!!! Parents were not on board for setting up similar 'parenting' styles and it REALLY affected this little one. I struggled and tried everything I could think of for 6 months straight. Now this little one is the perfect child and adjusted just fine. Took forever and not sure I would ever struggle that long again, but it did get better I can totally relate to how frustrated you are, there were days when I would just want to cry along with the little one. The others in daycare didn't like this particular child for the longest time because of the crying and even the parents would question it when they picked up their child and this little one was screaming bloody murder...my only suggestion is to be as stubborn as they are. I did all the coddling, the picking up, the telling it would be ok, and finally just got to the point where we would all ignore it and move on with our day. If she cried, she cried but we still did everything we had planned for the day...once I started to ignore it and the other kids ignored her it stopped within about 2 weeks. I really and truly believed she knew exactly what she was doing and got away with it at home..

[Errbear]

I've got some of you beat in the crying child department....a whole year!...yep, I said a whole year. Long story short...mom and dad differ in the parenting style department and I'm a mix of both. Poor kid didn't know how to deal with getting his way with dad and not getting his way with me. He was also super sucky about his damn stinky nasty blanket and once I told them to stop bringing it he eased off the meltdowns.Mom treats him like an adult and dad treats him like a baby....so frustrating sometimes but now that he's 2 and a half he knows whats expected of him when he's with me. He's so cute and I love him like he's my own son...Him and my son are only 4 days apart so they're best buddies. They just melt my heart

Mom doesn't sound very helpful, and if you have other famillies to fill the spot cut em loose. No one needs that kind of aggravation every day. At least for me the parents were more than helpful in trying to help him ease of the tears

Good luck!!!!

[Momof4]

I had one who SCREAMED for 7 months, one for 4 months, but the 4 month screamer had a milk allergy so once his parents believed they should try lactose free products he got happy, jeeeesh! The 7 month screamer is still here too and eventually I got her under control. Those are the two worst scenarios I've had. If they could all come in happy this job would be too easy, now wouldn't it?

If the parents are making suggestions and listening to your suggestions and making sure the baby's schedule is the same at home and daycare so she can adjust into routines then I say keep trying. If the Mom isn't trying to help you at all, well, good luck! You will know when you have reached your limit.

[Judy Trickett]

I had one who SCREAMED for 7 months, one for 4 months, but the 4 month screamer had a milk allergy so once his parents believed they should try lactose free products he got happy, jeeeesh! The 7 month screamer is still here too and eventually I got her under control. Those are the two worst scenarios I've had. If they could all come in happy this job would be too easy, now wouldn't it?

If the parents are making suggestions and listening to your suggestions and making sure the baby's schedule is the same at home and daycare so she can adjust into routines then I say keep trying. If the Mom isn't trying to help you at all, well, good luck! You will know when you have reached your limit.

I know you are a terrific provider. I KNOW this.

BUT....I don't think it matters how nice the parents are or how much they might "say" they are trying to help. The fact of the matter is that we have to spend 9 hours a day with the CHILD and if that child is negative to the environment then we have to move on.

I have had parents who were really nice people but their child was just not a happy person. That's just who that child WAS and no amount of trying was gonna change that child or make our daycare days happier.

At some point you just have to say "enough is enough" and move on with no guilt.

[Momof4]

I know you are a terrific provider. I KNOW this.

BUT....I don't think it matters how nice the parents are or how much they might "say" they are trying to help. The fact of the matter is that we have to spend 9 hours a day with the CHILD and if that child is negative to the environment then we have to move on.

I have had parents who were really nice people but their child was just not a happy person. That's just who that child WAS and no amount of trying was gonna change that child or make our daycare days happier.

At some point you just have to say "enough is enough" and move on with no guilt.

You know I respect you tremendously Judy, but I guess I hang in there because the thought of interviewing again and starting over from day one again just makes me tired. My little boy who has been here for 6 months had a really bad day today, crying for no reason whatsoever. It's exhausting and the other children actually don't like him and don't want to play with him. My goal is to turn him into a nice little boy who can learn to be social and normal and I'm sure I can do it.

Alpha, you had to do what's best for you and your daycare and I'm sure you will fill the space asap. So glad the Mom was good about it for you, so best of luck!