So...How long do I let her cry before I move on?

[Sandbox Sally]

BTW - that kid was my FIRST year as an ECE and he seriously had me questioning my career choice ... thankfully that breed is 'unique' never had another like him but it could be that experience that makes every other transitioning babe a BREEZE

Haha yeah I can't imagine how it could get any worse (worse worse worse...hear that echo??) lol

[Inspired by Reggio]

Haha yeah I can't imagine how it could get any worse (worse worse worse...hear that echo??) lol

Yup - also worked three years in a high needs centre where 95% of the children were involved with CAS and the family was in crisis ... generally family violence and abuse .... the children we worked with were out of this world AGGRESSIVE at times working with 3 year olds who had language that would make a sailor blush and who had PTSD and who could escalate to violence where they could pick up a lunch table and throw it across the room - literally had a child throw a fit once because someone 'scared him' and in his tantrum he ripped the SINK off the wall in the bathroom where we had removed him too to keep the OTHERS safe while he 'worked through' it!

So needless to say dealing with NORMAL childhood behaviours like a toddler biting phase or that 15 month old 'hitting' stage is a BREEZE in comparison and generally easy to 'resolve' in comparison to helping THOSE children find the skills and strategies to work through what they had been exposed to and find PEACE in life!

Sometimes I listen to clients complain about their kids tantrums because they do not want to go to bed and think WOW you have never SEEN a true tantrum - that is a piece of cake what your kid is doing there - ignore it and it will pass in a couple minutes .... some of the kids I worked with it took upwards of 30 minutes to an HOUR for them to regain control they had to work through all the stages of 'grief' in that moment from anger, denial, negotiation which often set them back to ANGER and so forth to get the point where you could actually RESOLVE the initial issue ... it was SCARY some days!

[mom-in-alberta]

Holy crap.... I think I may agree that I have never seen a "true" tantrum!! None of my kids have ever ripped a sink off the wall. So, I guess I am thankful? Joking aside, thank heaven for those kinds of programs that help kids in need at what is likely the darkest time in their young lives.

Do I think some kids/providers just aren't a match?? HECK, YEAH! Kids are people too, and just like us, there are some that you "click" with more than others and some that you get along with in the bare minimum sense of the word. I may have rocks thrown at me for saying, but I have met kids that I "just didn't like". I would never let it change my behaviour towards them, and some may argue that it's based on the parents, but I have met families where just one of the children grated on my nerves.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh I agree - children are human beings with the human spectrum of personality and temperment traits and yes there are some that are born just 'harder to love' than others .... heck my poor cousin gave birth to one of those types of children ... he was a difficult babe from the get go and just a challenge all around to raise - a perpetually pissy personality that nothing was ever 'good enough' for him no matter how hard others tried to help him see that his life was GREAT his glass was always half empty and he saw himself as treated unfairly and so forth and he had a temper right from birth ... even as a grown man he is hard to spend too much time with he is so opinionated and difficult ... yet her other three younger children raised in that same home by the same parents are complete opposite personalities and temperaments and the type of people everyone wants to be around?

[Sarah]

Oh I agree - children are human beings with the human spectrum of personality and temperment traits and yes there are some that are born just 'harder to love' than others .... heck my poor cousin gave birth to one of those types of children ... he was a difficult babe from the get go and just a challenge all around to raise - a perpetually pissy personality that nothing was ever 'good enough' for him no matter how hard others tried to help him see that his life was GREAT his glass was always half empty and he saw himself as treated unfairly and so forth and he had a temper right from birth ... even as a grown man he is hard to spend too much time with he is so opinionated and difficult ... yet her other three younger children raised in that same home by the same parents are complete opposite personalities and temperaments and the type of people everyone wants to be around?

I am SO sad to say that my 6 years old son is like that! Cried twice already today. I don't even remember why. Ran in his room screaming that I was unfair, that I am the president of the meany club! Drains the energy out of me! I try not to let it get to me, but.......

And he is different than his older brother, who is such an easy child, and his younger sister, a joy on 2 legs!

Hard for a mommy's hearth because they are hard to love! Don't get me wrong, I love him, but he is hard to love!

[michellesmunchkins]

I am SO sad to say that my 6 years old son is like that! Cried twice already today. I don't even remember why. Ran in his room screaming that I was unfair, that I am the president of the meany club! Drains the energy out of me! I try not to let it get to me, but.......

And he is different than his older brother, who is such an easy child, and his younger sister, a joy on 2 legs!

Hard for a mommy's hearth because they are hard to love! Don't get me wrong, I love him, but he is hard to love!

Sarah I can totally relate to you. My almost 6 year old gives me a run for my money everyday. He is far more work than the 5 little ones put together!!!

[Sarah]

Sarah I can totally relate to you. My almost 6 year old gives me a run for my money everyday. He is far more work than the 5 little ones put together!!!

Thanks alot for saying this!

I feel so bad when I say this, but it is true, he is an energy drainer! And it is not because he moves too much. He is so charming, nice, intelligent, funny. But he is and has always been a crier! Life is unfair to him!

At some point (about a year ago), I had to go in his room at night, sit down on a chair and look at him sleep. I wanted to look at him serenely, and feel only my love for him instead of the annoyance I was feeling towards him all day long!

Hard to love!

I kind of hoped it would get better growing up...

Anyway, thanks!