How do you deal with "Drama Queens"?

[kidlove]

oooh, you have a tough row to hoe with this one only because Mom just may be the problem. I have had alot of kids like this, as soon as parents come they start to ignore your authority and start the show, ooooh Mom thinks its so cute. spare me! The one thing I know is when I am done with them they are like two dif little personalities, as soon as they come through the door the game is over. They learn I've got their number and they fly right for the next 9 hrs. But as soon as Mom or Dad comes through the door, my efforts are done. I just step back and watch them morf back into a terror. If the parent ever asks "do they do this with you all day?" I just respond to them "not with me, they know better!" I have been spit on in front of a parent and the parent just laughed.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya ~ I have had my share of Drama Queens for sure ~ and I handle them the same way during the day as in front of the parent ~ use your words to discuss your needs cause that is not getting you anything!

oooh, you have a tough row to hoe with this one only because Mom just may be the problem. ....

LOVE this quote!

I agree

I have been spit on in front of a parent and the parent just laughed.

Oh that would not FLY here ~ I would have dealt with that kid in front of the parent ~ with the firm not acceptable, getting a wipe to help clean it up and apologizing for it and a FIRM reminded the parent of the CODE OF CONDUCT in my daycare and that an act of violence towards another child or adult is not FUNNY it is immediate grounds of termination so unless they want to be spending tomorrow at home with their kid seeking new childcare arrangement that I suggest they get on board with BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION and consequences at HOME for this transgression in judgement of the child!

Seriously spitting at another person is ASSUALT in the adult world ~ why should we treat it any differently cause it is a child doing it?

[kidlove]

Reggio: When the child has spit on me, I def. step up and dirrect my attention at the child stating "That is not acceptable behavior, you do not spit on people" and go further to ask him, do I spit on you? he says no, and I say of course not because I love you and respect you, you need to do the same to me. That hurts my heart.! all this time though, the parent just stares out the window, ticks me off. I should have said something to the parent re: asking the child to appoligize. Hard to explain, but some people are just different. and these people are a little, in the sense that their kids kind of run them.......heres the thing though, it is the PARENT not the child because during his time in care he is respectful and listens to everything I say and ask, using manners, appoligizes to others the whole nine yards. As far as I'm concerned with a child like that.....it's the parents who owe me an appology not the child. unfortunately I cant tell the parent they need to tell me they are sorry for allowing their child to treat me poorly. I just treat them all with respect and after they leave..just shake my head and pray for them.

[Inspired by Reggio]

... I should have said something to the parent re: asking the child to appoligize...... As far as I'm concerned with a child like that.....it's the parents who owe me an appology not the child. unfortunately I cant tell the parent they need to tell me they are sorry for allowing their child to treat me poorly. I just treat them all with respect and after they leave..just shake my head and pray for them.

See this is where we differ ~ I would say something to the parent about how their 'lack of action' is not acceptable and the predicament it puts me is unfair. My code of conduct requires respect for all, children and clients, and by NOT stepping up and in fact LAUGHING when their child misbehaved they might as well have spit in my face themselves as far as I am concerned because they have given their child the message that they think it is FUNNY and are condoning it by their inaction! Honesty while in MY HOME you follow MY RULES or you LEAVE cause I will not work with someone who is working 'against' me it is not worth it cause all the hard work you do during the day is than undone ~ I do not care if they do things 'differently' at home as long as we are sharing the same GOALS cause we can get to the same place via different directions but if we heading in opposite directions with what we want for children ~ than we have made a mistake in our arrangement and are not a match for service!

Honestly I actually sent one of my clients home with their child one day because the client in an attempt to redirect her pissy toddler threatened that if she was rude to one more person during drop off in the morning that she was going home to bed and the kid was rude immediately after growling angrily in the face of another child trying to say good morning ~ so I handed them their coats and said 'guess we will try again tomorrow ~ hopefully a good nap in her room will turn her around' ... cause the rule at my house is you say what you mean and you mean what you say ... you want to give your kid empty threats at home so they do not trust or listen to you that's fine but you do not do it in MY house and I had already warned this parent prior ... but it worked it was the LAST time she made an empty threat here next time she did the 'if your rude again Reggio is going to put you to bed upstairs' ... but at least she showed 'improvement' in getting it next we had to have the 'do not threaten your child with discipline you expect someone else to carry out for you ~ you need to deal with it right than and there' ... so than she moved from threatening to 'bribing' instead but that's a whole different thread

Honestly one of the great things about being self employed and working from home as your own boss .... you do not have to take CRAP from anyone .... I do and say what I need to for my program to run they way I can thrive and be happy and my group can thrive and be happy even if it sometimes means 'tough love' in saying what needs to be said to people ~ if a client does not want my level of 'support and advice' coming at them they are free to seek service elsewhere

I have said some pretty TOUGH / FRANK stuff over the years to the client who I sent home with the mean what you say and say what you mean and they've been here 5 years now .... although they are still struggling with how to deal with their kids because sometimes that 'tough stuff' falls on DEAF EARS I think and well I am now at the point where I see the light at the end of the tunnel and have just decided to do what I need to do to get to end of August and just say 'goodbye' and leave them to do the best they can in the world with the little bit I managed to 'change' over the past 5 years to help them thrive in school and so forth.