Is Discipline Non-Existent These Days?

[sunnydays]

I think it is definitely possible to discipline with or without spanking etc...but I think the problem is that parents are tired and busy. They rush home from work, rush to extra-curricular events, ahve no support from extended family and often bring work home with them on their blackberries etc. Life is all about rushing kids from one event to the next, whether it be eating dinner and getting to bed or hockey practice...there is very little down time for anyone and everyone is always stressed! I feel this sometimes myself and struggle to keep it at bay because I do not want my kids to feel stressed...but at the same tiem I have to get them to eat and to bath and to bed on time so they are ready for school the next day and so I have time to clean up and rest a bit myself before the next day begins. And I purposely avoid putting my kids in extra-curricular activities except for one at a time because this just adds to the chaos and the stress and is totally unnecessary! Too little time, too much stress, tired parents...nobody has teh energy to discipline...it easier to just give them the cookies they want and buy yourself a few minutes of silence. I also agree that we are judged a lot by others in society and it makes it harder to discipline because we have to endure the "looks" from others when we do.

[daycarewhisperer]

I think it is definitely possible to discipline with or without spanking etc...but I think the problem is that parents are tired and busy. They rush home from work, rush to extra-curricular events, ahve no support from extended family and often bring work home with them on their blackberries etc. Life is all about rushing kids from one event to the next, whether it be eating dinner and getting to bed or hockey practice...there is very little down time for anyone and everyone is always stressed! I feel this sometimes myself and struggle to keep it at bay because I do not want my kids to feel stressed...but at the same tiem I have to get them to eat and to bath and to bed on time so they are ready for school the next day and so I have time to clean up and rest a bit myself before the next day begins. And I purposely avoid putting my kids in extra-curricular activities except for one at a time because this just adds to the chaos and the stress and is totally unnecessary! Too little time, too much stress, tired parents...nobody has teh energy to discipline...it easier to just give them the cookies they want and buy yourself a few minutes of silence. I also agree that we are judged a lot by others in society and it makes it harder to discipline because we have to endure the "looks" from others when we do.

I don't think this is really true. If you think about it, we have it so so so easy. We don't have to wash clothes by hand, hand carry water, chop wood, cook off a wood stove, work the fields, raise our own meats and vegetables, go by horse and carriage. We have stores that have everything we could possibly need all at one stop. We can purchase prepared food and just heat and serve. We can store the food easily our temp controlled house and our refrigerators.

We have instant access to each other. We have electricity, gas, entertainment at our finger TIPS. There couldn't be an easier time to raise children then now. We are NOT busier than our foremothers and fathers. We do NOT have it harder.

[Toregone]

I don't think this is really true. If you think about it, we have it so so so easy. We don't have to wash clothes by hand, hand carry water, chop wood, cook off a wood stove, work the fields, raise our own meats and vegetables, go by horse and carriage. We have stores that have everything we could possibly need all at one stop. We can purchase prepared food and just heat and serve. We can store the food easily our temp controlled house and our refrigerators.

We have instant access to each other. We have electricity, gas, entertainment at our finger TIPS. There couldn't be an easier time to raise children then now. We are NOT busier than our foremothers and fathers. We do NOT have it harder.

I would have to disagree somewhat. No I don't think we are busier per say but the lives we lead are so very different than that time it's comparing apples to oranges. No we don't have to chop wood, and wash laundry by hand but in the same token neither did they have 1.5 hour long daily commutes or parent teacher meetings. Society itself has also changed and life is less family/home-centric. Gone are the days of 6 kids at home HELPING mom wash laundry and dad chop wood. Parents nowadays balance tasks that are just as time consuming and do it without help because it's things kids can't do. Grandparents are less support because they themselves are often working.

Raising kids is tough regardless of if you were doing in now, 50 years or or 100 years ago. It's just tough in different ways.

[daycarewhisperer]

I would have to disagree somewhat. No I don't think we are busier per say but the lives we lead are so very different than that time it's comparing apples to oranges. No we don't have to chop wood, and wash laundry by hand but in the same token neither did they have 1.5 hour long daily commutes or parent teacher meetings. Society itself has also changed and life is less family/home-centric. Gone are the days of 6 kids at home HELPING mom wash laundry and dad chop wood. Parents nowadays balance tasks that are just as time consuming and do it without help because it's things kids can't do. Grandparents are less support because they themselves are often working.

Raising kids is tough regardless of if you were doing in now, 50 years or or 100 years ago. It's just tough in different ways.

Gone are the days of parents having to MAKE 6 kids at home HELP mom wash laundry and dad chop wood. For every bit of survival and living chores that were given to the children to do there was a parent there saying you MUST. Telling them NO they can't not do it. Telling them you won't HAVE food if you don't do this. And remember too that the kids who worked at home had school also and often a very long hike back and forth to school. They had LONG days of family work, school, and family work. Also the mom of six HAD infant, toddler, preschooler (kid one, two, three) without any older kid to help. We have parents who have infant, toddler, preschooler for the most part.

So yes... this generation has it WAY easy compared to our foremothers and forefathers. We need to get a grip and stop saying how HARD this is. It isn't. It's work but it's not HARD work compared to our grandparents, great grands, etc.

[Toregone]

Gone are the days of parents having to MAKE 6 kids at home HELP mom wash laundry and dad chop wood. For every bit of survival and living chores that were given to the children to do there was a parent there saying you MUST. Telling them NO they can't not do it. Telling them you won't HAVE food if you don't do this. And remember too that the kids who worked at home had school also and often a very long hike back and forth to school. They had LONG days of family work, school, and family work. Also the mom of six HAD infant, toddler, preschooler (kid one, two, three) without any older kid to help. We have parents who have infant, toddler, preschooler for the most part.

So yes... this generation has it WAY easy compared to our foremothers and forefathers. We need to get a grip and stop saying how HARD this is. It isn't. It's work but it's not HARD work compared to our grandparents, great grands, etc.

Sorry but I'm still going to have to disagree. Yes I see your point but it's still apples to oranges. I'm sure that just as I look back through history and say to myself "Holy crap that seems hard!" if my great grands were able to peek into the future and comprehend the lives we live they would say the same.

But that's a discussion for a different post. This thread is about disipline and yes I feel that whatever the reasoning (societal pressure, lack of time, laziness.. whatever you think the reason is) disipline has slacked considerably since even I was a child and I'm only 26.