Moderating the forum

[ladyjbug]

So...I’ve refrained from commenting on this thread for a whole day. You still haven`t answered my question about why you treat providers and parents differently. My post is right there on the first page. It lists several reasons why I think this tactic of yours is contributing to the atmosphere of negativity in here. I am really actually curious about your answers to those now, and you seem to be studiously avoiding that main question for some reason. I’ve asked it numerous times and you have ignored it numerous times.

The thing is, I don’t think you can answer that question without admitting that you have a strong bias towards certain posters, i.e. parents. You have alluded to it in some posts, most recently the aggressive kid post. Since the very definition of moderate is to be IN THE MIDDLE, not biased towards either side, then you are technically not doing your job by censoring those who may have a different opinion than you, as you originally did with this post and closing the two threads this week.

I get that you’re human, you miss things. You have a life. That’s fair. However, this is a very big forum now with lots of posters. A lot of threads and posts tend to get out of hand. In a forum like this, you need a STRONG moderator team to manage things, and that team needs to be without bias to keep it from getting into an US versus THEM atmosphere, something that you also alluded to in the aggressive child thread. Everyone deserves the right to be heard, and not every poster that has a different opinion should be lumped into the category of “mean” and a “bully”. I don’t lump everyone together. I admit that some people work best with a pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic ear, and some do better with straight forward calling a spade a spade. I said that in my first post on this thread. I value all opinions, even if I disagree.

I think personally, you are in over your head. You have said yourself that you don’t nearly have enough time or energy to monitor this forum the way it should be monitored, and that contributes to the negative energy in here. Someone else should share the load with you since admin is not doing anything really. We should have at least one more moderator, preferably two, to share the workload and monitor the posts before they get out of hand.

I disagree with the posters that have said basically “If you don’t like it, then leave” essentially. First of all, the OP did leave. I haven’t seen Judy back to this thread or this forum. She's done. The rest of us who happen to agree with the reason she did it doesn’t make us mean or bullies for trying to discuss and realize how it can get to this point that a seasoned provider with lots of advice would not want to even try to participate on this forum anymore. I think it is a huge loss. I am discussing rational solutions here, and reasons why both sides feel the way they do. I want to make this a better place for all. Don’t you? Are you really saying if I don’t agree with you, I should just leave? That’s not constructive. How are you going to learn anything if you are always presented with people that agree with you? I personally learn the most from the people I disagree with because I either become stronger in my convictions or learn to consider a new perspective. I think it serves no purpose to ask those of us who happen to agree that there is a huge disconnect here to leave as you would also lose a huge part of the forum that makes it interesting.

I didn't use the N-word in any of my posts, so you are spared from lecturing me and grasping at that diversionary tactic as a last-ditch measure. Please just answer my questions honestly and consider my opinion and why you are avoiding it in the first place. Thank you.