Biting

[AmandaKDT]

I have a 21 month old dcg that is easy going most of the time, but has a history of pinching, hitting and head butting when she doesn't get what she wants. My 23 month old daughter gets the brunt of it since they are almost the same age and all the other kids are much older. But this morning for the first time the dcg bit my daughter on the arm, so hard that it almost broke the skin.

so any advice, other than a firm "no biting" and giving the other child lots of cuddles?

This dcg will usually not have any real reaction when I scold her (firm voice, not yelling). When I tell her no hitting, no biting she usually just smiles at me and says "Hi!" in an innocent voice.

[bright sparks]

I would keep a written record of all incidents, speak to the parents to see if this child has bitten before and then I think the best thing you can do is to shadow the child In the hopes of catching her before she bites. As a punishment I would strap her in a highchair away from the other children and tell her she can not come back to play if she is going to hurt her friends. Doing this continuously might help to both prevent this from happening and may over time solve this problematic phase.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Agree with BS!! I don't have highchairs so I would have to use the playpen or just the normal time out spot. I would make these time outs extra long than normal so that she hopefully understands that biting is not okay and she will not be able to play for a long time if she does it again.

[Samantha33]

Word of caution. I tried for 7months to curb a little boy was biting. I really wanted to try and try and give up. He was sooooo sweet. The parents were a gem. The hours were great. Always paid on time. Then one day he bit someone and "BROKE" the skin. I slapped myself and said "what the hell are you doing girl, they could sue if something worse came of broken skin. I realized all those months of trying didn't make a difference. I'm not saying don't try. Just know when it's time to call it quits. I terminated that night at pickup and the Dad was terrible to me.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Just a question.....can a parent sue (and win) over a bite? I mean isn't it common sense that things like this are a risk when you put your child into childcare with multiple children? Would a parent sue if a child bit their child at the McDonald's playplace or at the zoo or at a fair or any other place where children are?

I understand that it's hard to see your child get bitten but I also don't think it's the end of the world. I guess I have just worked with children for so long and seen so many children bite and get bitten that I think it would be unreal if every parent sued.

Biting is one of the worst behaviour's IMO because they are so quick with it that it can be hard to prevent but I don't worry that a parent will sue me if their child gets bit. However, I also haven't had a biter in my hdc yet though, only centres.

[AmandaKDT]

I would keep a written record of all incidents, speak to the parents to see if this child has bitten before and then I think the best thing you can do is to shadow the child In the hopes of catching her before she bites. As a punishment I would strap her in a highchair away from the other children and tell her she can not come back to play if she is going to hurt her friends. Doing this continuously might help to both prevent this from happening and may over time solve this problematic phase.

Yes, I plan to write it down in my incident book to keep a record and will be telling the mom today at pick up. I am pretty sure this biting is new, I have had this girl full time since she was 11 months old but I will confirm it with her mom. I have been working so hard to get this dcg to stop with the hitting and pinching and thought we were passing that phase, but now apparently it is turning into biting.

I always pick her up and put her in the time out spot, and she will sit there for a minute or two - but she seems mostly unaffected by it. She will just sit there with this quizzical look on her face, then she will wander back out and start playing again like nothing happened. She is such a sweet heart otherwise.

[AmandaKDT]

Just a question.....can a parent sue (and win) over a bite? I mean isn't it common sense that things like this are a risk when you put your child into childcare with multiple children? Would a parent sue if a child bit their child at the McDonald's playplace or at the zoo or at a fair or any other place where children are?

I understand that it's hard to see your child get bitten but I also don't think it's the end of the world. I guess I have just worked with children for so long and seen so many children bite and get bitten that I think it would be unreal if every parent sued.

Biting is one of the worst behaviour's IMO because they are so quick with it that it can be hard to prevent but I don't worry that a parent will sue me if their child gets bit. However, I also haven't had a biter in my hdc yet though, only centres.

I try really hard to take all these behaviours in stride as I know that it is mostly "normal" developmental things and they need to learn the appropriate behaviour but this biting I consider really worrisome. It feels extra bad when it is my own little girl, she was just screaming this morning because it hurt so much.

I don't know if a parent could sue and win, seems a little out there since they are putting their child willingly into an environment with other children. Now if it were the provider doing the biting, that would be a whole other story! LOL

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, it would be extremely hard to see your own child get bitten!! I always feel bad for the child because bites do hurt!!

LOL....hopefully no providers are doing the biting! haha

[Momof4]

I put the onus to stop the biting on the parent. I had a biter in care last year and in one day a baby went home with a huge bite on his cheek and another child had a bite mark on his arm. I showed the parents of the biter and told them it had to stop immediately. I was right there but it happened so fast I couldn't even stop it. I watched her like a hawk but she still did it whenever somebody touched her toys. Sorry you have to go through this! In my case, there was no reason for it other than the toy issue. If you get to the root of the problem, that's key also.

I'll tell you what the dcMom did that evening. When her daughter tried to bite her, instead of yelling ouch as usual, she grabbed her arm and bit her back just hard enough to make her realize it really hurts. It worked! You and I can't do that, but the parents can. Maybe you think this is horrible, but parenting means DOING something and I'm proud of this dcMom.

[AmandaKDT]

I put the onus to stop the biting on the parent. I had a biter in care last year and in one day a baby went home with a huge bite on his cheek and another child had a bite mark on his arm. I showed the parents of the biter and told them it had to stop immediately. I was right there but it happened so fast I couldn't even stop it. I watched her like a hawk but she still did it whenever somebody touched her toys. Sorry you have to go through this! In my case, there was no reason for it other than the toy issue. If you get to the root of the problem, that's key also.

I'll tell you what the dcMom did that evening. When her daughter tried to bite her, instead of yelling ouch as usual, she grabbed her arm and bit her back just hard enough to make her realize it really hurts. It worked! You and I can't do that, but the parents can. Maybe you think this is horrible, but parenting means DOING something and I'm proud of this dcMom.

Yes, as far as I can tell my daughter got bit because they both wanted the same toy. I didn't get a chance to talk to the mom at pick up (she was in a rush and I totally forgot) but I will tell her in the morning tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn't become a big problem.

But I hear you, parenting does mean having to DO (unpleasant) things sometimes.