It sounds like this mom has a lot on her plate !! As moms we tend to blame ourselves for how are kids are acting and I think she pretty much is demonstrating this ! I can see how by going in to her daughter and letting her go thru her routine feels to her like she's fulfilling a need her child has as opposed to the child freaking out she wanted daddy to pick her up instead of mom .
I can't imagine being a single parent!! It truly must be exhausting !! She is in a huge life change !!
I think it will come down to you , even though you are friends , you have to do what is best for you and your family . If you decide to keep him in your care I feel you must accept you are not going to get any reinforcement from her . No matter what her life looks like , that you can't control , what you can control is how involved you would like to be in it !
I feel badly for both sides here !
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