Quote Originally Posted by bright sparks View Post
I have an AP child who has huge problems playing alone. He is fine in the group because they are a very busy group of boys and he goes with the flow. He is very good at imaginary play. When he is dropped off first, he is at a loss what to do and regularly ends up crying. He has been here for 18 mths and is 2 1/2. My kids have babysat him at home because his parents needed to get housework done and he isn't able to amuse himself independently. I think the AP has something to do with it in my case, although the principals of AP say a child won't struggle with becoming independent although Attachment parenting has many variables depending on the parents. I think to generalize the AP approach is not fair, as everyone has their own approach to AP, but I definitely see a pattern with AP kids in this area.

Maybe because there is only two of them and one is your daughter too makes it different than my experience. There isn't as much going on in terms of a busy group of multiple preschoolers. I'd be inclined to talk to her parents and just let them know your observations. If they are open to suggestions, ask them to make a point of not jumping at the slightest thing at home, even if there doesn't seem to be a reason to say no or delay helping. Ask them to refuse to help her at times to force her to face a situation independently. I'm not saying neglect her when she needs them but to set some clear boundaries on when she really does need adult support, and when it is a good opportunity for her to develop her independent skills in a safe and healthy manner. It seems like this may have been inhibited by the AP approach these parents are taking and this is how it is showing. At her age I wouldn't be super worried, but I would definitely be working hard to correct this but if her parents aren't then it will be a huge struggle. Poor kid
I have nothing against AP and used a fair amount of the AP approach with our daughter. I do believe, and have stated this before, that there is a strong difference between AP and parenting in a manner that means never saying no, never setting a limit and never letting a child whimper. But I won't go into my rant on that!

Sadly talking to the parents will not help matters. I am still trying to point out that letting their child get only 7 hours of sleep in a day is not in the child's best interest and that the child may sleep more if getting out of bed for more snacks and more Netflix isn't an option every evening until 11pm when mom finally goes to bed with the child. She still only naps in the car or being rocked for them because she was never taught how to lie down and sleep. But, mom doesn't like the child crying and mom doesn't set limits (as in it is bedtime you need to stay in bed). Telling her to not carry the child around, or make the child go play on her own when the child doesn't want to is just not going to happen. It is not worth approaching because I already try to nudge on the sleep front because I know how much the child needs to sleep.

This is why I am trying to find out if this is normal...if this is related to home's approach or if it is child specific and I can somehow help on my end. I am not bashing AP parenting. I am trying to find out if this is related to it or if this is of concern or not so I know how to approach it on my end!