Transitioning :(

[Skysue]

It's still very hard on her and today she just refused to eat! but she is getting better in her high chair. Today I opted to be myself and not sit in one spot with her by my side so much. She cried quite a bit but I know it was mostly to say hey look at me. She is amazing at circle time she loves books, songs and riddles so we will see!

[playfelt]

If she is good at circletime you could also go under the assumption that she has been held, read to , sang to etc and what she is totally lacking is play skills. She may be totally overwhelmed by toys and not know what to do with them. Have had this many times from kids who were with grandparents till they turned 18m-24m and then parents wanted them with other kids but the kids had no idea what to do with other kids. We had to start at step one and actually demonstrate how to use the toy of the day.

[lori123]

Hi Sue,

Have you tried a booster feeding chair on the floor for this child? I have all 5 of my kids in feeding chairs on the floor and they all love setting up "their seats" and helping me put the tray on them. Grins, maybe she is just afraid of heights or the highchair itself! I hope it gets better....

I have a 12 month old coming in March and I must admit, after reading this thread that I'm not looking forward to it!! I've been spoiled with older kids of at least 2 years plus and its going to be a bit of a shocker to go back to the younger baby days! Hugs, we all hope it gets better soon for you and that she adjusts quickly for your sake (and hers!) Hang in there, Lori

[Skysue]

Thanks Lori123 she loves the highchair at home so I'm not sure. I can't have her on the floor as my 2 year olds would take her food. My high chairs are in the kitchen and the toddlers eat at the picnic table in the dining room. I need my babies to be away from the others and I need to feed them all at the same time as it helps keep on schedule. She sits at the picnic table for pm snack though and loves it. I would love those knd of boosters but don't have the funds at the moment as I will be terminating a child this week! whole other post~!

The good thing is this little ones parents are on board to do whatever to make her adjustment easier. They even offered to send her full time for a few weeks! We will see!

[playfelt]

Going full time for the first month and then gradually working back to part time usually works. The child comes to see daycare as normal and learns to accept it.

[KingstonMom]

Good points everyone. I transitioned a 17 month old boy who started Jan 3rd. Boy, was he a nightmare! He didnt cry or scream, but he was a WHINER!!! uggg constant!! I try to forget how bad he was, but I definetly contemplated terming him after 2 weeks, but stuck thru. He is alot better now, but still gets in his whiney moments.

I decided to not give into his whines for attention (he always was happy if I carried him around with me). I agree its best if I just treated him like any other dck and I dont pick them up only to bring them on the changetable or if they got hurt etc. I did assure him he is okay, but also telling him "we dont whine here, you are fine". After a while he totally got the hang of things and plays happily with the others and is a really good eater. No concerns now!

You have put up with it alot longer than I did though...Im not sure i could handle it for that long. My kid was full time also, yours being part time, yes, longer transition time.

If you feel that enough is enough, then by all means, dont feel as though you have to put up with it. Term if you need to. Then next kid could be a dream.

[KingstonMom]

Also, I agree with playfelt. Alot of my kids love pasta, but will only eat it with just butter on it. Then thats what I will seve to them. (along with carrot sticks and cucumber if they feel like eating veg that day) I do not fight over eating meals. The parents can worry about their kid getting proper nutrition, I will always offer it to them anyways. I dont force feed here!
My 3 and 4 yr old esp have suddenly become picky about any sauce on their pasta.
I dont always buy whole wheat pasta, whatever is on sale to be honest. How many nutrients are they really getting from whole wheat anyways?? a carbohydrate is a carbohydrate! whole wheat is not whole grain anyways.
I think we need a new thread about daycare foods now! good luck!

[suemaria]

in response to preparing hot lunches 90% of the time... i do this as well but what helps is having much of it precut/prepared in advance... and i understand the need to have children follow your program but this is where i always have a hard time... and i am not a parent so no bias for parenting interests... you are taking a real child/infant from their mother/father/home, no real transition, no opportunity to get use to new environenment, new people comfortably, you are asking a one year old to get with the program. do you get what you are asking??? there is a way to get them there without expecting them to just follow suit. this is the most important time for children as it will affect them later in life. you need as a caregiver to understand children better, be better educated. they require nurturing, understanding, patience. this does not mean catering to them either. there is a balance that can take place but you have to be open to it. i work closely with the parents to understand their lives thus far, ie, the people around them, sleeping, eating patterns. then i work with gentle transition as this leaves way less stress on the children, then on me. within days, the children start to become accustomed to what i do otherwise in the program. the important part in the beginning is making a smooth transition, then adjusting them to your program to suit your schedule which should be realistic as well. it works and unless you try this, you cant really knock it. i have transitioned the most complicated situations, with patience, without issue following this. and to me, it makes sense. know your child before you decide what you are doing for them. way too many times, home programs follow regime that is so structured that an adult wouldn't be able to follow or keep up with expectations and people ask that of an infant etc. i would be unsettled if when starting my exploration in learning and growing and developing, you plopped me in a highchair for half hour to an hour with a basket of toys too. do you have somewhere else for her to sit? be? where are the other children at this time? do you have options for other activities? i do art, books, games, songs... it all depends on your set up. then again, i am use to running programs with 60 children and ten staff, so transitioning to 5 children at home is a heck of a lot simpler... i am not trying to be offensive, i just know that what i do works. i do as much as possible to prepare them for real life. not just my own schedule and needs.

[Crayola kiddies]

Pfft !!! : (

[Cadillac]

You have to learn to tune out the crying. I had a nine month old like this. Serious separation anxiety with me. I couldn't even go pee.
It took months for him to get comfortable. but he is now the happiest child in my daycare, is my own kids best friend/boyfriend.
I had to train him slowly. First he was allowed to follow me everywhere I went ( would even call him to come with me) but he was on the ground, then when he was comfortable i would leave the room for a couple minutes and call to him if he was crying and let him come find me but I wouldn't pick him up I would talk until he stopped, the periods then got longer and longer until he was comfortable and had made some friends.

You have to like the kid though. Lets be honest, we dont have the patience or understanding we need if we just aren't loving this kid. There was something about this boy I loved even though his screams were PIERCING. I was close to letting him go.

I also had the parents do the same thing at home that I was doing here. continuity is KEY!

But if you just cant stand her, she's better off somewhere else anyways