I am not sure what to think. Sorry for the long post, but please help.

[Sandbox Sally]

My issue isn't that he is having trouble...it's that the caregiver is rude and refuses to give feedback. Oh, and that a 3 year old was left in a pair of urine soaked pants. Um...no.

[gcj]

Well, obviously pulling him from there is the best option. As far as finding him a new place....I don't understand why you don't want him with you. You're working with kids all day, why not your own? Is it not allowed? Personally I got started in this business just to be with my kids....not to have someone else raise them. Why don't you take advantage of that?

[Inspired by Reggio]

My issue isn't that he is having trouble...it's that the caregiver is rude and refuses to give feedback. Oh, and that a 3 year old was left in a pair of urine soaked pants. Um...no.

Agreed ... a transition is to be expected for sure specially with an older child who has not had the benefit of years of your routine and expectations ... but if the provider cannot evenly CLEARLY DEFINE to the parent the issues that are causing him 'trouble' and ROLLS HER EYES WHEN ASKED TO how is the parent suppose to HELP the provider or her child to affect change and set goals ... that is just well sorry for the language but CRAPPY way to handle things?

And sorry if this comes off judgmental but IMO if she is not able to 'define' it to the parent adequately and rolls her eyes about it how does the parent know if she is defining her expectations clearly to the CHILD and this could be the route of the kids 'behaviour' as well in which case the PARENT cannot fix that cause that is the providers issue.

IMO the other reason for considering leaving is that the poster shared that the child needs 'routine' to thrive in potty training and other avenues and this provider is not big on offering one to me that is clearly not a MATCH and best to find a program that IS a match to your parenting philosophy and child's learning style otherwise you are going to be constantly having challenges everytime some new 'stage' is entered ... unfortunately in an ideal world parents would spend more time ensuring a match to stuff like this BEFORE signing on but in their defense sometimes providers will say ANYTHING to get a client in the door and than the parent quickly realizes that what was promised is not what is being offered and they have to pull

My other reason for suggesting pulling is my personal passion that children should be WITH their parent whenever possible - the poster works in a field offering childcare and the perk to that should be well providing care to her OWN while he is at least young enough to be in childcare before the school boards scoop them up on us - I personally do no think the concern of 'favoritism' should be a barrier to allowing that cause I have worked with many a provider who can manage their own child and daycare children fairly ... how many of us on this board are doing it as I type

[gcj]

couldn't agree more Inspired By Regio...about children being with their parents whenever possible. Sounds like it is possible!

[Momof4]

My issue isn't that he is having trouble...it's that the caregiver is rude and refuses to give feedback. Oh, and that a 3 year old was left in a pair of urine soaked pants. Um...no.

I have to agree with Alpha. The eye roll and vague answers from the caregiver were very inappropriate. When I have a problem with a child I'm telling the parent specifically, exactly what we need to work on to improve behaviour. Sure, the original poster could give the current caregiver another chance, but demand that she explain EXACTLY what is happening and her plan to correct the situation.

I admit that if I had a parent who didn't agree with my methods I would want them to ask me direct questions, but I would definitely give them direct answers, not an eye roll.