[QUOTE=Judy Trickett;30989]Don't take this the wrong way but....your feelings don't matter. QUOTE]

I understand from your perspective, but not sure how I'm not going to take this the wrong way. My feelings absolutly matter. I completely understand that it is my fault for allowing people to treat me this way, but it in no way excuses their behaviour towards me.

I don't think we need to love every child to do a good job, but in any job if you hate it, you do not give as much effort to it. I don't care what anyone says. You are more likely to get good quality care for example from a newly qualified teacher who is full of enthusiam, than a teacher who has been doing it so many years, wrapped up in all the BS politics and on countdown for retirement. If someone gets up in the morning looking forward to the day, they will put more positivity into the day versus someone who thinks, shit I've got to go to work again. They do as little as possible to get through the day and are more likely to give a poorer level of care or standard of service.

This job is also not like to many others. Spending so many hours per week with children on such a close level, is bound to form strong bonds between the provider and the children. Maybe not for everyone, but for those adults who have a sensitive(but not weak)nature and get attached easily, these bonds formed are not necessairily a choice. If you aren't mainly a pleaser/giver personality, you can only begin to imagine what its like, but not personally know. In a previous thread Kidlove hit the nail on the head, and understands that this is who pleasers are. We love with our whole hearts. Love comes in different forms and I feel that my love for the children makes me do my job a whole lot better and is part of the appeal when parent's bring their children to me. Obviously because they think they can take advantage of me to LOL...starting to learn this.
I am glad I am this person, but I am fully aware that it is extremely taxing on me and within my business at least, I need to somehow learn to turn the dial down and be more balanced. It will be the difference between these kind of situations occuring again or not.

My goal from this experience is to still be the compassionate person I am but keep firmly within my business policies to prevent being taken advantage of in the future. Maybe part of the reason why I help people out is because in the past, I have crossed paths with givers and pleasers who have shown me great compassion. The difference is I am not someone who takes takes takes all the time and I make sure I show extreme grattitude to those people in my life who are kind to me. Unfortunatly when the tables are turned, all I seem to meet are takers.

It seems they didn't take a piece of my heart and trample ont it. I gave it to them.