Do you find your 'house rules' differ greatly from your day home families?

[CrazyEight]

Oh man, the difference in discipline and expectations is driving me crazy right now! I have 2 sets of siblings, boys ages 5 & 1 and girls ages 3 & 1. It's easy to see that the boys are taught manners and respect at home; the 5-year-old might be a bit of a goody-goody, but he always says please and thank you, he listens, he gets his shoes and coat on when told to, etc. His little brogher is adorable and will share when asked at 17 months, likes to cuddle, responds to the word "no" etc. They're generally pretty good kids.

The girls, on the other hand, are giving me a ton of grief at the moment. The 3-year-old talks back whenever I ask her to do ANYthing, has an excuse for everything, and needs constant reminders to do anything. I asked her to clean up the basket of toys she was playing with in the kitchen this morning and she responded with "I don't think so." She's also extremely rough with the babies ( I also have a one-year-old, so she's here all day with 3 little ones). She shoves her sister constantly, yells "no" and rips toys out of the babies' hands, refuses to share, and it's definately rubbing off on her sister. She's 16 months old and already screams and pushes other kids whenever they come near what she's playing with, has temper tantrums when I put her in a highchair or stroller. From the outside, it's so easy to see the behaviour being learned from her older sister.

I find Mondays are always the hardest. They'v spent the weekend walking all over mom and dad (who have both admitted the 3-year-old runs the house) and then it's a bit of a shock to their system when they come back here and get put in time-out for pushing and shoving, or made to clean up before they're allowed to move on to another activity. By mid-week they've calmed down a bit and remembered at least some of the expectations, but there's only so much we can do when they go home and all the structure and discipline and manners evaporate and are not expected anymore.

I can't suggest much more than talking to the parents, but in my case, this doesn't do much, as they laugh it off and say things like "she's a wild one!" or "she's a spirited child!" It's incredibly frustrating...hopefu lly your dcparents are more receptive! Good luck!