At a loss

[jodaycare]

Well, so much for the "big boy" talk. Little one is upset again this morning, i held him for 15 minutes but he won't be consoled so I am just letting him talk to himself since he won't listen to what I am saying. I am on holidays next week so I will consider my options then.

[playfelt]

Talk to mom about how child is doing with the baby at home. If he is feeling left out and sibling rivalry type behaviours are starting at home it will be escalated by making him "go away" to daycare. It may be that it becomes an every day thing or a not at all thing. I have done some maternity leaves where the child came 5 mornings so they got the benefits of "school", and mom spent the morning with baby bath, cleaning house, napping and errands so that when child went home baby went down for a nap and mommy and child had private cuddle time.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

If child on less day, is it one day home and one day with you?

Lot parent want social interaction for child and alternate days between home and daycare but that is hard on child with always changing routine. Would Mom consider having his days with you being consecutive days? Yes, might be extra upset first day back if had 5 day home but next day will be better.

[jodaycare]

If child on less day, is it one day home and one day with you?

Lot parent want social interaction for child and alternate days between home and daycare but that is hard on child with always changing routine. Would Mom consider having his days with you being consecutive days? Yes, might be extra upset first day back if had 5 day home but next day will be better.

He comes on Mondays and Thursdays because those are the only days that Dad finishes work within my operating hours. I have not seen Mom since she had the baby 3 weeks ago.

[jodaycare]

Talk to mom about how child is doing with the baby at home. If he is feeling left out and sibling rivalry type behaviours are starting at home it will be escalated by making him "go away" to daycare. It may be that it becomes an every day thing or a not at all thing. I have done some maternity leaves where the child came 5 mornings so they got the benefits of "school", and mom spent the morning with baby bath, cleaning house, napping and errands so that when child went home baby went down for a nap and mommy and child had private cuddle time.

Thanks playfelt, he seems to be the most upset in the morning, he cries at every transition - going outside, coming inside, sitting at the table for lunch. After nap, he is perfectly fine.

[torontokids]

One of my DCB's is like this since his mom got pregnant. It also coincided with him getting older/more aware (18 mos) so it could have been a result of more awareness that mom was not with him.

His parents want him with me fulltime during her mat leave and I don't know how he'll do. It is one thing to be able to tell them that "mom is at work" but for him to know mom is one street over with his new sibling, might be hard.

For you situation I would replace with a full timer. This gives you an out as he's not adjusting and hopefully when baby #2 needs a spot you have one but there wouldn't be hard feelings if there isn't.

[kindertime]

Thanks playfelt, he seems to be the most upset in the morning, he cries at every transition - going outside, coming inside, sitting at the table for lunch. After nap, he is perfectly fine.

I know this started before the baby was born, but... he miserable in the am and fine after nap, right? Is he exhausted? Is the baby keeping him up too. I don't know your schedule, but I would be trying to get him to nap in the am too. Just a thought.

[jodaycare]

I know this started before the baby was born, but... he miserable in the am and fine after nap, right? Is he exhausted? Is the baby keeping him up too. I don't know your schedule, but I would be trying to get him to nap in the am too. Just a thought.

Thanks but he doesn't arrive till 9 am and he is almost 3 so if I put him down when he gets here he wont nap in the afternoon. I have however had him lay on his cot to calm down. I talked to Dad last night and he doesnt understand why he is crying at drop off, I asked if he was staying up late or not sleeping well but he said he has been going to bed at 8:30 and getting up at 7. So I still have no ideas other than he is just needing more attention.

[playfelt]

Drop off time could be the problem if he is getting up earlier. If he is up say at his usual 7 then eats, lounges in jammies, watches tv or plays with his favourite truck then all of a sudden dad says ok today is a daycare day get dressed and let's go - child is upset about the transition which you mention was a problem. Child would do better to be brought as soon as he gets up as if was a normal daycare day like before or the idea of before he starts into his day as if was a stay at home day so the first play he does is at your house. Makes a huge difference.

[jodaycare]

I agree, when he was here full time he was dropped off by 7 am so he was up at 6 probably since they have a 45 minute drive. Dad says the days that he doesnt come he sleeps till 8. So all of the changes in routine are taking their toll I think, however he has been coming at 9 and the same 2 days a week since the end of January so he should be used to it by now. And he has been in my daycare sonce March 2014.