It happened to me again :(

[Serendipity]

I'm happy I live in an area where day care providers are thought of at years end. I didn't even realize this wasn't common everywhere until I got the internet and started reading sad posts like this from all over the country. It amazes me that so many providers get nothing or just cards, pics, and regifts. I've always gotten bonuses. In fact, the first five years or so it was common for parents to add bonus money in my weekly salary just as a thank you. I would never know when it was coming and would thrilled to get it. Now my rates are higher and my clients just do end of service or end of year bonuses.

Like I said, I am not allowed to continue trying to prove my point. But I will respond to your post.

Your neighbor did not receive a single thing for Christmas from her parents. Nothin', nada, zilch. Not even a thank you so apparently receiving year end bonuses and gifts isn't the norm everywhere as much as some people think.

Maybe I am wording my thoughts wrong and this quote says what I am meaning better.......

"Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place.

All the effort and gift giving providers do for their families isn't going to be something the families translate into honoring the provider in the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU (the provider) should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that belief.

If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.

You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.

If you really want a year end bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. "

[daycarewhisperer]

Like I said, I am not allowed to continue trying to prove my point. But I will respond to your post.

Your neighbor did not receive a single thing for Christmas from her parents. Nothin', nada, zilch. Not even a thank you so apparently receiving year end bonuses and gifts isn't the norm everywhere as much as some people think.

Maybe I am wording my thoughts wrong and this quote says what I am meaning better.......

"Our culture is changing. The way that most parents look at child care is that it's terribly expensive and "too much" in the first place.

All the effort and gift giving providers do for their families isn't going to be something the families translate into honoring the provider in the same way because they don't believe they should or they believe YOU (the provider) should be the one doing the celebration and giving. If that's what they believe then it may be time to believe them and follow in line to that belief.

If you are dealing with clients that have this belief system it may be best to just stay out of the Christmas loop completely and carry on as you normally do throughout the year. If you do a bunch of Christmas stuff with the kids and for the parents you actually may be setting a thought process in their minds that your ROLE as a provider is to GIVE to them. It may actually backfire on you and leave you empty and sad.

You don't have to do crafts, parties, gifts for the kids, gifts from the kid to the parents etc. You can go with the belief system the parents have and not do a Christmas between your kids, clients, and yourself.

If you really want a year end bonus or gifting why not consider building a paid vacation into the end of the year for YOU to look forward to? If you are already doing that then maybe another idea is to raise your rates two dollars a week per client and put that one hundred dollars a year per kid away and have THAT be your year end bonus. "

Was the neighbor part directed towards me? I don't know who you are speaking of but I will take your word for it.

I do agree with the rest of your post. I don't do much as far as crafting and our xmas party is mostly home made stuff. When I do a party the parents are wonderful about pitching in. Some do cash and some bake or buy pizza for us.

I would encourage providers who don't have year end bonuses to set up some kind of weekly fund to go into a year end fund. I've suggested before things like a "party and paper" pot where the parents give two dollars per week per child into the fund which would cover any party expenses, craft expenses, and some leftover money for the provider at the end of the year. Each slot doing two dollars a week will land a hundred dollars per year per slot to cover celebrations and give the provider some extra coin at years end.

Ask for coins and have the pot in the arrival and depature area so parents can see it grow. Use the sorting of the coins as an activity once a month and stash the money away. That way you have money for little presents or crafts and a little something for yourself.

[Serendipity]

Was the neighbor part directed towards me? I don't know who you are speaking of but I will take your word for it.

I do agree with the rest of your post. I don't do much as far as crafting and our xmas party is mostly home made stuff. When I do a party the parents are wonderful about pitching in. Some do cash and some bake or buy pizza for us.

I would encourage providers who don't have year end bonuses to set up some kind of weekly fund to go into a year end fund. I've suggested before things like a "party and paper" pot where the parents give two dollars per week per child into the fund which would cover any party expenses, craft expenses, and some leftover money for the provider at the end of the year. Each slot doing two dollars a week will land a hundred dollars per year per slot to cover celebrations and give the provider some extra coin at years end.

Ask for coins and have the pot in the arrival and depature area so parents can see it grow. Use the sorting of the coins as an activity once a month and stash the money away. That way you have money for little presents or crafts and a little something for yourself.

Yes, I was referring to someone who is actually your neighbor. (She posted about not getting anything...not even a thank you)

The concept of building the bonues or gift you want from parents into your rates is where my thought process started at before all of this got blown out of proportion.

I wanted to show the OP that having a different belief system than parents do about gifting and appreciation is exactly what is backfiring and causing her to feel so sad about it. She can't fault them for not seeing appreciation the same way she does.

So the easiest way to avoid the hurt feelings is to not expect anything and to build your bonus or gift into your yearly rates. Parents who respect those rates, policies and rules ARE showing their appreciation to the provider by being loyal clients who stay for years.

[daycarewhisperer]

Yes, I was referring to someone who is actually your neighbor. (She posted about not getting anything...not even a thank you)

The concept of building the bonues or gift you want from parents into your rates is where my thought process started at before all of this got blown out of proportion.

I wanted to show the OP that having a different belief system than parents do about gifting and appreciation is exactly what is backfiring and causing her to feel so sad about it. She can't fault them for not seeing appreciation the same way she does.

So the easiest way to avoid the hurt feelings is to not expect anything and to build your bonus or gift into your yearly rates. Parents who respect those rates, policies and rules ARE showing their appreciation to the provider by being loyal clients who stay for years.

WEll I'm awful glad I didn't end up with her day care parents!!!! There's a day care about every four five houses where I live so it could be one of hundreds of providers within a two mile radius!!

I don't really understand what you mean that abiding by policies shows appreciation. I can't imagine mysister believing that her company abiding by their agreement with her would make her think they appreciate her. I think the cash bonus she gets every year shows their appreciation way more than them doing what they agreed upon in her employment contract.

What do you mean by that?

I

[Serendipity]

I don't really understand what you mean that abiding by policies shows appreciation. I can't imagine mysister believing that her company abiding by their agreement with her would make her think they appreciate her. I think the cash bonus she gets every year shows their appreciation way more than them doing what they agreed upon in her employment contract.

What do you mean by that?

I

Like I said before, I don't have any idea why your sister gets a bonus or why she doesn't. I know nothing about those types of businesses except that bonuses to CEO's has had a significant impact on our economy. In a way I believe year end bonuses to employees is much the same as rewarding a child for something they are expected to do in the first place. I mean why does the company have to show your sister any appreciation for her work? She has a job and she is paid for it. A while back someone posted on this forum that being paid was just a perk. So I am really confused by some of the comments now made in regards to Christmas gifts.

Are cash gifts an expectation? a perk? I don't understand at all.

I personally feel that parents who follow my rules/policies are showing their appreciation to me. They are loyal customers who stay with me for ALL their children. Refer their friends and family to me and never give me the kind of stress or trouble that some of the forum boards are over flowing with from providers. How much more appreciation should I expect?

[daycarewhisperer]

Like I said before, I don't have any idea why your sister gets a bonus or why she doesn't. I know nothing about those types of businesses except that bonuses to CEO's has had a significant impact on our economy. In a way I believe year end bonuses to employees is much the same as rewarding a child for something they are expected to do in the first place. I mean why does the company have to show your sister any appreciation for her work? She has a job and she is paid for it. A while back someone posted on this forum that being paid was just a perk. So I am really confused by some of the comments now made in regards to Christmas gifts.

Are cash gifts an expectation? a perk? I don't understand at all.

I personally feel that parents who follow my rules/policies are showing their appreciation to me. They are loyal customers who stay with me for ALL their children. Refer their friends and family to me and never give me the kind of stress or trouble that some of the forum boards are over flowing with from providers. How much more appreciation should I expect?

I view the year end bonus as a way to reward a provider for faithful service and to encourage the provider to continue the service in the future.

To me, it's really that simple.

I had a client start the second week of December. It was an odd time to start but I agreed to take the child a couple of weeks before my xmas break. I've only taken one other child in 20 years during this time frame because it means having to reintegrate the child twice in a one month period before and after my break.

I have my holiday and vacation pay built into my agreement where I earn 1.5 days of vacation and holiday pay per month. That pay is accumulated and paid out at the end of the contract such a parent leave before I have used up the accrued time.

With this client I had only worked two weeks so I had not earned any paid time off. The family included in their last payment both Christmas and New Years day as a year end bonus to me. It was a pretty hefty bonus considering the short duration of our relationship. I made it clear that I hadn't earned it and they said "no" they want to do it for me. Very cool and I appreciate it very much. Great way to start a relationship.

They did it to thank me for taking their child at a time I don't normally introduce kids into the child care and to encourage me to stay on with them next year.

I draw families with this mind set. I don't have a secret sauce. I think part of it is where I live and part how I work with families. I think they also see that I live a very simple life. I don't do much for myself. I drive a 14 year old car. I wear simple clothing. I have a nice spacious house but it is a fifty year old house in a blue class neighborhood. There's nothing fancy in my home except for the space for the kids and the equipment/toys for the kids. They quickly see with a tour that I give nearly my whole house to the business.

So when they bonus out at years end I think they see it as something for ME. Something beyond what it takes to operate this big of a house and business. They want ME to have special. When they bonus my helper it is to give her money for just her.

They are very generous and when I get extra paid time over and above my contract and cash bonuses I thank them and show them how much I appreciate it.

I have never viewed the bonuses as compensation for poor past behavior. Them abiding by my policies is a daily thing. That has NOTHING to do with year end bonuses. I've never even heard that before this conversation. I wouldn't want to keep a client that didn't follow policies much less endure them until the years end to get a hundred/two hundred bucks. That would never be worth such a small amount of money.